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for those who have left their husbands

i'm planning to leave in June when school is over, and moving very far away. in the mean time, i just can't stand the sight of my husband anymore. i'm trying to do the best i can and not argue, for the sake of our child. i keep telling myself it's almost over, but 5 months right now seems like an eternity! i have nowhere to go, no family or friends here so please don't say i should just leave now. how did you deal with living with your husband when you knew the marriage was over?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I agree with staying busy. I distanced myself from my husband so I could emotionally detach from him. I didn't ask where he was going and stayed out of his business as much as possible... something you have to get used to when your gone anyway. Try to find something you enjoy doing so when he walks in the room you can continue to play a game with the kids or continue reading your book. Smile inside and don't let him get to you. Enjoy yourself inspite of him. I moved out of state and had to be separated for 3 months so I could file here. I had to communicate the whole time so he wouldn't file on me. I know how you feel it was so hard to be "working on our marriage" and thinking of coming home when I knew all along I was counting the days to file. You have to do what is best for your situation...but do smile and find comfort in small things...don't let him have power over your happiness.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • i stayed with my ex for as long as i did becuz he threatened to kill me if i left. so one day he left for work and i started packing,just got ready to call a cab and he walked through the door some how he knew what my p;ans were so i hid all the boxes as to not set him off to what i was doing went into the bedroom and called the police. they came and helped me out. it was so hard staying there know that i hated him and it was going to eventually hurt my daughter. you have to do it. things could get worse between you two between now and then and this is only effecting your children they are smarter than we think. why wait five months if you have know where to go now are you going to have somewhere to go then

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • please be careful moving out of state if you have a child with him he can get you in trouble for that talk to a attorney to be safe I wish you well


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I am in the same boat right now only I am not married to him this time. (No where to go, etc) til a few months from now but it is so hard to be around him right now. I feel you, Mama! Stay safe!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I'm the OP. My husband is NOT violent at all. He would never even threaten to hurt me. Believe me on this please. I'm not stupid, if I felt there was any danger at all, I'd be gone. I have to wait until June for several reasons, the main one being I will have the money to leave then and not before. I also can't take my son out of his special ed class right now, he's come so far and made so much progress. My husband is aware that I'm planning to leave and he knows where we are going.
    I'm just asking how I deal with living with someone I can't stand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I agree that you should check the laws of your state to see if you can leave the state with your child. Try and link to Know the Law then put in your state. If that does give you what you need try calling a domestic violence shelter even if you are not being abused. They would know the law on removing a child from a state.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:54 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • oops I forgot to answer your question. I stayed busy and away from him. He worked. I went to school. He had friends. I didn't. I had 3 kids so I just did stuff with my kids and went to their afterschool events just to stay away from him. We went to the library and whatever else I could find to do to keep away from him as best I could. Just think, January is half over so you only have a little more than four months to get through. If you divide that into 2 sections (pre mid term and post mid term) that makes it even sound like a shorter period of time!

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:57 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Are you sure this is what you want to do???

    I know you said you want to leave in June when school is over, Do you have somewhere to go then, if not what is the difference between then and now.

    If you are leaving him because there is no love anymore argue. Think of the kids.

    hugs  good luck


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:07 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I once knew a woman in ur situation she left him and after 5 years later she says she regrets it she said it was not that bad of a life. Now she remarried and I don't think she is as happy as she should be. He's married and is happy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Yes BUTTERFLY, I'm positive. He is an alcoholic., not violent or mean, just annoying and I have tried and tried and been patient for 8 years. And yes I AM thinking about my kid! When my 5 year old says "daddy has been drinking, let's go in another room" ... it's time to leave. I have to wait until June for financial reasons, like I said. Yes, I have somewhere to go then.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jan. 13, 2009