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Finding child who was adopted - best place/site?

my husband's son was adopted when he was in his tween years by the foster family that had him (long story... he was VERY young and the baby mama was a cheater and a con artist - she lost all her kids due to check fraud and drugs after having taken the son without warning overseas... well... not important to the question so moving on). not having his son that he was very attached to and changed his whole life for has really affected him. i think he has finally moved past the fear of his son hating him but felt last time he saw him he was not in a good place. i have searched a little but didn't want to go full force until i knew my DH would be okay. it's time... please let me know how to go about finding him.

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figaro8895

Asked by figaro8895 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 4, 2012 in Adoption

Level 26 (27,249 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i guess I am confused, if he is the father, when they took the child from his mother they would have tried to unite with the father so at what age was the child taken and how old was your husband? Who took the child- when was the last time your husband saw him?

    more details can help lead to the correct starting points etc
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 10:51 AM on Jan. 4, 2012

  • There's a question here about finding birth parents with pointers on searching. It's the same for finding adoptees, but they cannot be minors.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:42 PM on Jan. 4, 2012

  • DH is confused about some of the details. He says that apparently he didn't sign the birth certificate (this is when talking about the papers he received back when the adoption was taking place), however, his name does appear in the state birth records online. There was never a custody agreement. I'm not sure if I have all the details right, but... when C was around 8 months, BM left to go live with one of the guys she was cheating with. DH maintained a relationship. Then a short time later, he couldn't get a hold of BM. Later found out she went to Europe with new guy and C. They returned to the states after a year or two but were far across the country. Later she returned to this area and DH again was able to spend time with C regularly. Meanwhile BM has a couple more kids. Kids are put in foster care at some point early on bc she went to jail for check fraud. DH says new guy was much better parent, but apparently they were
    figaro8895

    Comment by figaro8895 (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Jan. 5, 2012

  • both on drugs, hence the foster care. Not sure if DH was contacted at that time. He did say he saw C several times while he was in foster care. Says he seemed to be doing better there than with BM. DH at the time was suffering from the downward spiral of having C torn away repeatedly. At one point - I think around the time of adoption, DH was living with his mom and stepdad (severe alcoholic) and did not have a good place to take his son and live and didn't have a job. BM came around trying to get DH to help her... not sure exactly with what, it was under the pretense of reuniting the family, but he knew better. He is confused about the details, again... I think that he felt like C had been well taken care of by foster parents, with his siblings, and he couldn't provide a better home, and thought the best thing to do was allow him to be adopted, BUT may not have had a say...??? C is no longer a minor.
    figaro8895

    Comment by figaro8895 (original poster) at 9:19 AM on Jan. 5, 2012

  • try http://www.stevemorse.org/birthday/publicrec.html

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 5:15 PM on Jan. 5, 2012

  • adopteeme... nothing came up. what is this supposed to do?
    figaro8895

    Comment by figaro8895 (original poster) at 8:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2012

  • http://www.stevemorse.org/birthday/publicrec.html


    It worked for me. Just put in the name and click on search or go to the birthdatabase and see if you can get something there.

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:17 PM on Jan. 13, 2012

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