Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How would you react?

What would you do if you walked into your family room and found your 16 yo dd on the couch with her boyfriend on top of her kissing her? This happened to us. She was still fully clothed but I was flabbergasted to say the least. I had a long talk with her but I am wondering what you ladies would have done or should I have done something different. She is not allowed to be alone with this boy until further notice though...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • My dd got caught doing that around the same age. I told her that was very disrespectful to do in my home. I also told her the boy wouldnt be allowed over if they were going to do that in my home. I also called his parents and informed them why.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:19 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I can't help you because I'm not there yet and I'm not looking forward to those days! But I remember doing that and I wasa good kid. I would say make sure they are supervised and that you have an open relationship and discuss the consequences of sex...even if you have to say it a hundred times just keep talking! I also would say it would have to depend on how long they had been seeing eachother and if you like him....
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:22 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • ME personally I would have the real sex talk you know the whole yeah its a great thing, but that waiting is good too, and that some bad thing can happen if you are not careful, and yeah no alone time. It's not respectful. They are gonna kiss but they don't need to be on top of one another to do it. I think you handled it well.
    CorCorsmomma

    Answer by CorCorsmomma at 11:29 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • My dd is 15yrs old. She is NOT allowed alone w/ her bf.. BUT she will be dating soon.. She will be 16 in March.. SO, when do you start to TRUST??? I trust my daughter.. I talk to her about everything. She comes to me and talks to me. She knows she can talk to me.. When will YOU allow your dd to start dating???
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 11:33 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I know it has to do with respect towards parents, but, my hubby and I have realized that thes kids are going to do this whether we are 'round or not, at friends behind , the school or in a car or at a friends house in some room without our knowledge, we just make our 16 yr. old keep the room door open. It seems to work, they are safe within our reach no in some dark alley somewhere...
    rockingrobin

    Answer by rockingrobin at 11:53 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • My dd was allowed to start dating when she turned 16 this past May. This happened after they had come home from the movies and they went into the family room to watch some tv before her boyfriend had to be home. I do trust her and we do have an open relationship. I have had numerous talks with her about sex and STD's and I am constantly repeating that a few minutes of pleasure is not worth it. My dd and I have an open relationship and we do talk. I think I was more in shock to walk in and find her boyfriend on top of her in my house...She knows how I feel about it and promised that it would not happen again. Ladies thank you for the input. I was just at a loss with this. My head was spinning and I was just wondering how other people would have handled it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I clearly remember being 16. They will find a place to do this. I really don't know what you can do to stop it. If you make crazy rules, they will start lying to you.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:06 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • mompam...i don't think she's wanting to punish her daughter....but i would have been furious to come home and find my son on top of some girl! on MY couch in MY livingroom in MY house!!! it's disrespectful. i would have done the same thing OP did! i think you handled it fine...obviously they are going to find somewhere else to makeout....but i would let your daughter know that if they are together at your house they will be supervised!!! and thank your lucky stars they were dressed! you could have walked in on something much worse
    AustinsMommy306

    Answer by AustinsMommy306 at 3:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Maybe your husband needs to sit down with the boyfriend and have a man to man talk with him. This will either embarrass him so badly you will never see him again, or get him to be more respectful to your daughter, or both.

    Also, my kids will not be having sex in my house. If they want birth control they are going to have to go by themselves to the clinic and if they want to have sex the can do it in the bushes at school or in a dark alley. Either you have these values or you don't. Teaching them one thing their entire life and then changing your mind because "they're gonna do it anyway" is confusing to them and teaches them that values have no real meaning.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 7:09 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN