Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Where do you turn for parenting advice? What shaped your "style"?

With all the dumb ass questions I see on here some days, I have to wonder where people are getting their "basic" information from? I am not being a jerk about a mom who just may not know better... But under a year old- don't leave your kid in the bath tub- it likely isn't a tantrum- and why would you even think of feeding your kid that?? Where do we get these ideas ladies? Did we do any research at all? Or just think it would come to us automatically? Or do we take advice from our parents who have been oh so reliable themselves? Wow- these questions! Some of them just amaze me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I don't turn anywhere for parenting advice. Most of what I do is based on my own personal research and common sense. I am very surprised by a lot of the questions and ultimately feel sorry for the children involved.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I use my maternal instincts and common sense;) I rarely contact a Dr. or turn to friends and family for advice.

    I agree with you OP-there are some F'ed up questions on this site. I also worked in a clinic and heard crazy questions that are similiar to these. What the hell did mothers do before the internet? lol. I am amazed the human race is still going strong!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Trouble is, common sense ain't so common anon 919. Pretty blatantly obvious by the questions that get asked here sometimes.

    I go based on what I know, have experienced, and am advised on. I don't filter everything out, I take it in, consider it, and if it's totally ridiculous then I move on. My mom has some really great ideas, and managed to raise some pretty great kids :) But that doesn't mean she knows or understands how to raise a child in this technology era.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:24 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I agree that parenting is a lot of common sense but to be totally honest, I've gone to my mother (mostly lol), girlfriends (with or without children) for advice at times because IMO, having someone "on the outside of the box" can point things out you may not see and help you see them in a different perspective. And because children don't come with handbooks or directions lol and are a learn as you go experience through trial and error (in the sense that we all make mistakes with our children), there may be times when you need to ask for help which to me, there's nothing wrong with. In fact, I think that the parents who DO ASK FOR HELP shouldn't be judged or put down (and I'm not saying that you are with your question) as raising children is no easy task by any means. JMO.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:28 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Seven years of school. I work as a professional in a field where I work with children and their families. I did parenting classes, family sessions....ect. I have a lot of scientific studies floating around in my head. So years of professional experience. I often get stopped in public and asked a parenting question or get a compliment from strangers who whisper in my ear that my son is so well behaved. It is not a miracle and there is no big secret. I do have some parenting philosophies that I learned while working that I use at home: Love and Logic, P.E.T., and Axline's model of filial play.  While my son makes it look easy - it takes a lot of work!  What kills me is when people say that we are so lucky we were given an easy child.  HA!  Easy my ass!  Its called parenting.  And I turn to my friends who are also experts in working with children.  It has been convenient to have them available.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:32 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I do my own research...then I make up my mind.

    I will ask for personal experiences online because it's tough to research certain things. Most things only give you facts. Some moms want to know more than facts.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:33 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • The whole point of us being here (us = those who do research or had good role models) is to help those who have these misinformed ideas. It's easy to get frustrated but keep in mind these ladies know something's not right and they ask others who can correct them. The sign of intelligence is admitting you don't know and ask for help. I'm proud of these wonderful women who know how to ask if they are doing something wrong. The correct answer could possibly save the life of a child one day. So just calm down and take a deep breath. We're all in this together. Remember H. Clinton's idea of It Takes a Village.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:46 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I rely on my own intuition and common sense. I also consider what my mom did with me...and do the opposite.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:47 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Okay, I admit...I do the above too! Good God that makes me an awful person. My mom did some things right...but there were some major things that I would never repeat.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:57 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I took parenting classes, took early childhood development classes in college, and my mom is a psychologist so I got many of the ways I parent from her and classes.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:31 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.