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Am I the only one who's significant other doesn't want anyone else in the delivery room but us and the doctor?

My fiance does not want anyone else in the delivery room and I don't know what to do because he said it either has to be him or my mom he is not comfertable with the both of them in there with me and I want my mom to be with me but I also want him with me and don't know what to do! Please Help!

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Asked by northerncowgirl at 4:27 PM on Jul. 17, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • This is definitely something that needs to be resolved before you head to the delivery room! I dunno... I totally think it's your decision. If your fiance can't come to terms with you needing your mom in the room, that's a problem. Maybe she could be with you all the way up till delivery, and then wait outside? Sticky situation, but he's not going to endear himself to his new MIL with this stance. Good luck.

    Answer by CreativeSpirit at 4:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • First check out your hospital, most now have labor, delivery & recovery all in the same room. That way early in your labor anyone can come in to encourage you & see how you are doing. Then when it is "go time" everyone is asked to leave except the people you & your doctor agree can stay. To be perfectly honest at that point you are so busy you won't care who is there, so if it were me I would give my SO his way so he feels that the babies parents are the first loved ones s/he encounters, that is pretty special anyway. After the few minutes it takes to deliver & check the baby for problems other loved ones are allowed in again. Your mother will have been with you for most of the process & will immediately be able to see the baby, but your husband will get his wish to make the actual moment of birth an exclusive thing for the two of you. Problem solved.

    Answer by nysa00 at 4:36 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • My DH didnt want anyone else in the room with us either. I honestly am glad for this. My mom can be controlling and pushy....I wanted the room to be as relaxing as possible and it was with just us. She came in the room all the way up until I started pushing and then came in a little bit after...after my husband and i got to hold and meet our son. Some days I would have liked her to be in there, but knowing her she would have grabbed my son before my husband was able to hold him. Just remember, it is u and him having the baby, not her and u....

    Answer by trentntats at 4:36 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I need to tell him you want your mother there, that is would really help you out. If he loves you he should understand and let her in. After all it isnt him having to push the baby out!! If he doesnt listen and still refuses I would tell him fine dont be in the room then, cause if there is one thing I ahev learned is that your mom is always gonna be there for you you husbands not. Men change they get sick of you they want more "nookie" from new people. If he wants to see the baby born he will be there with or without your mother being there. Good Luck*

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Nope deffinately not. I had a midwife and it was to be just the 3 of us. Thats the way I think it should be.

    Answer by Mom_2_a_Monkey at 4:38 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Has he said why he would be uncomfortable? When my sister was pregnant she always said she just wanted her hubby in the room. But when she went into labor the night before she had the baby, she changed her mind and asked me to be in the room too. Her hubby and I held up her legs while she pushed. And honestly I found that having him across the bed to look at was comforting, because some strange things happened and we kind of entertained each other and asked each other questions with our facial expressions. They said they were happy I was in there and it wasn't just the two of them. Ask your guy why he feels this way. Maybe he's afraid he'll pass out and doesn't want to be embarrassed.

    Answer by feesharose at 4:45 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • We had a complete zoo with my daughter! (8 people all the way through). But as soon as she was delivered we pushed everyone out the door for an hour so that we got to spend time with her alone. That way all the grandma's/aunties/etc got to see her being born, but we got our private time. I think you need to stand up for yourself, you are the one having the baby and you need to have the support system that is going to help you through that! Hope you two can work it out...congratulations!

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 7:25 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I feel your fiance should be in the delivery room with you. He is the father of your child and soon-to-be your husband. Your mother can see her grandchild once you are back in your room. Maybe she can help you at home during the day while your fiance is at work. It's always nice to have a little help after the baby is born i.e. cooking, cleaning, laundry, letting you take a nap and get some rest.
    Your future is with your fiance. You're not going to be having your mother there when you get married.

    Answer by JuneL at 10:13 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I think it's your decision because you're the one on display so to speak. If you totally have to have both, get them together to talk it out.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • My boyfriend doesnt want anyone in the delivery room either. Im just fine w that. When I had my daughter I had 5 ppl, plus my nurse and mid-wife!! It was too much!! But I think if u want ur mom in the room then u need to talk to ur fiance. Good luck and congrats!!!!

    Answer by capulet425 at 10:21 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

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