Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My baby's father left me alon with her a week after she was born and has seen her maybe 10 times tops since she was born and never wanted to take her when I ask him but now all of a sudden wants to be a father and wants a family. Please! Tell me what to do? Should I forgive him or not?

he didn't go to her first Birthday party or even got her any presents. Sees her like once evey 3-4 months and she's 17 mos. Oh and the he also wants to have a girlfriend and to be a family and he doesn't care about how I feel about this whole situation.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Only you know what you should do, you know him, your situation and financial stand...Really you are the only one who will have to answer for you and your babys' well- being..best o' luck
    rockingrobin

    Answer by rockingrobin at 1:36 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I wouldn't give him that chance! If he really wanted to be a family he should have been there from day one! He can't have his cake and eat it too! I would be very cautious about what he wants! I wouldn't let him alone with the child cause it sounds like he wants him his girlfriend and your child to be a family! He wants you out of the picture!
    ke_smith2008

    Answer by ke_smith2008 at 1:37 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well, dont get me wrong. But since you are seperated its not about you and him anymore.

    Its only about father and child. Maybe he realized that it wasnt right and wants to change. Dont take this chance away from him, just because you are mad at him. If he wants to see his daughter, dont refuse it. Someday when she is old enough to ask questions u dont want to say: "sorry mommy didnt allow daddy to see you because she was mad at him"...

    i hope you know what i mean. its a really hard situation for you, and can totally understand it. but if he wants to be a father now, then support him. no matter how much u dont want that. you need to do whats best for your child.

    i wish you all the best
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 1:38 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • If I was you, I would head down to the county courthouse and file for custody...
    It sounds like his reasoning to be a family may not be sincere...who knows...
    Protect yourself and your child..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:39 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well sometimes people change i went threw the same thing and I agreed for my ex to see his daughter and now he's doing the disapearing thing again if the GF is why he's coming around that;s not okay. But I'd tell him to be there for his child and watch out cause coming an d going will only hurt the child. If that's the plan come and than disapear again than i'd tell him no and look into your rights as a mother of protecting your child
    amommy2a2yrold

    Answer by amommy2a2yrold at 1:41 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • To be honest you would have to make that decision because we don't know if this guy even wants to be a father or wanted to from the start Like if he eve asks about her or if she needs anything.
    Native_Mommy253

    Answer by Native_Mommy253 at 1:48 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • If he wants to be in his daughters life then set up through the courts a custody arrangement. You can set up child support then as well. The child needs a father and if he has grown up give him a chance. I personally would never be with him again. Any man who abandons the mother of his child is not really a man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN