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I feel like a horrible mom...

I cant stand my 13 month old daughter. It really has been getting to the point where I have to leave her in the livingroom alone for like 20 minutes so that I can calm myself down. I get so mad at her. She wont take naps anymore. So 80% of the day she is miserbal because she is tired. Then the rest of the day she spends not wanting to eat what I give her. The other day I had to go through 5 lunches before I finally found something she would eat. She throws toys, kicks, bites, screams, yells "NO!" all the time. She is just horrid. I hate admitting it, but I would give her away for a few months if I could. I just can't take it anymore. I have no idea how to handle her.

Answer Question
 
tiffers32788

Asked by tiffers32788 at 1:48 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (78 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • willyou could make her go down for a nap you are the boss& if you dont want to get her a slippy of warm milk in bed then just put her in her room and close the door let her cry her self to sleep for a nap. after a few days of this she will know that after lunch or at a time that you step up for nap time is the time she goes to bed for a nap.
    monalisa138

    Answer by monalisa138 at 1:55 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • My 15 month old is the same way.. I feel like you at time.. Im only 20 and I have no help from his father what so ever.. I just had surgery so I had to quit my job and now I cant find another one... I wanted to go to college so bad... I cant control my son either... He is really mean.. He has given me bloody noses and he bites through my skin... I hate giving him spankings but time outs do not work.. He screams so loud that I have had the police called on me so many times... I dont know what to do either.. He never sleeps!!! He is getting a lot better now that he is getting older and can understand more... You are not alone.. If you want to PM me just let me know...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I understand you completely. While I love my daughter and would never want to change her there are some days when adoption seems like a great option. She started to refuse naps like yours around the same age. She is now 26 months and still has days where she freaks out on me. And I'm not talking about tantrums she has full blown panic meltdowns. To get her to nap I pop in a movie and if she falls asleep great if not then at least she gets some down time. My situation is also complicated since she doesn't communicate like she should. More than likely your daughter is just frustrated that she can't have everything she wants. With so much new stuff to learn it can be very overwehlming for little ones. But don't worry you are not allow. There is nothing wrong with you stepping away to cool down, that is exactly what you should do.
    efsuermann

    Answer by efsuermann at 1:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • You need a break mama! We've all been there and felt overwhelmed and overtired. I would love to help you. I have been a nanny for over 20 years and I have been through it all. I have a two-year-old of my own and I understand your feelings and frustrations. I would be more than happy to speak with you and give you some ideas that have worked really well for me with toddlers very similar to your daughter. It sounds like she isn't napping because she's overtired, and it has become a bad cycle (not your fault). As for the lunches, as long as your daughter is a healthy weight and growing well, you can stop that. You decide what to give her to eat and if she doesn't want it, that's fine. She doesn't have to eat lunch. She will not starve. It will be alright.

    DeTora_Family

    Answer by DeTora_Family at 1:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • OMG. This poor girl.

    Sorry, but i think the only thing your daughter is asking for is attention. if she doesnt want to sleep, then why trying to force her? Play with her, keep her busy and she will be tired in the evening. The food situation is normal. My daughter doesnt like everything either, sometimes we have to try 2-3 different things and if its still not good enough, well i will send her to bed without food.

    you on the other hand need to understand that she is ONLY 13 months old. She doesnt know it better. she only knows what you tell and show her. if you are annoyd all the time then please dont expect your daughter to be happy and calm. That wont work... at all.

    you need to get some support from the baby daddy and family/friends, because you are obviously overstrained with your daughter.

    good luck
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 1:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I also agree with the first mom.. I started doing this with my son too... I cant stand the screaming so I will just listen to my ipod or something... Just check on her every few minutes to make sure she is ok... Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • at 6:58 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 by: Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I also agree with the first mom.. I started doing this with my son too... I cant stand the screaming so I will just listen to my ipod or something


    ^^^ Hello? babies and toddlers cry and scream sometimes! if you know you cant stand it and will ignore it, then why in the hell did you want to have a child?!
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 2:01 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • ok m.robertson, so you are saying that if my daughter decides to never sleep again, thats ok?? let her do it? i dont think so. and yeah not having a nap makes her so tired in the evening that she can barely stay awake for dinner. So what? Just cut out dinner? No. Not happening. And she does know better. She knows that if she throws a fit and turns blue, then she doesnt have to take a nap. Because obviously any child would rather play then take a nap.
    tiffers32788

    Answer by tiffers32788 at 2:03 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Oh and I am a stay at home mom. So for a good majority of the day my daughter has my undivided attention.
    tiffers32788

    Answer by tiffers32788 at 2:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Try having her take a nap earlier in the day, not when she is tired.

    Also, it isn'[t her fault. She is 13 months, so try to remember that. Try to alter her schedule some. Maybe an earlier bed time is ok! (More time for you, too!)

    As for the food. Don't offer her anything else. She will eat if she gets hungry. It may take a day or two, but once she learns that you aren't her short order cook she will eat what you give her.

    Just remember, you are the mama....sounds like you may "give in" to her tantrums and she knows that eventually when she cries and screams and throws things, you will give her what she wants. This sounds silly, but watch some episodes of Nanny 911....they have awesome advice for situations just like yours!
    Glowing4Caleb

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 2:22 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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