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What should I do?

My boyfriend wants to be my sons father and take care of me and my son but I'm not gonna fully rely on him but then my sons father wants to be involved now. My boyfriend has been there for us more than his father ever was. My son is a year old and I don't want to confuse him by having two different men in his life. HELP!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • well make sure he knows who his dad is. you dont have to fully rely on him, let your bf know how you feel and explain to you babys dad how you feel and how you dont want to confuse your son. make sure everyone understands how you feel about the situation because if not then it could get complicated.
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 2:26 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I don't think you will confuse him. He is young and will grow into all of this. My daughter has her Daddy who she sees 4 times a year and my fiance Daddy Robbie who lives with us.

    I would not have your son consider your boyfreind his father until you two have plans to be more than boyfriend and girlfriend.

    Just talk to your kid no matter how old they are.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:28 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • My nephew is going through this and he seems to be okay with it. He's got daddy Michael (my brother) and Daddy Jared (baby mammas new husband) He lives with his Mom but sees his real dad on a regular basis. You have to try to balance it out and not feel bad about it because youre definitely not the only girl in america not with the babys daddy. Make sure to really consider how into your boyfriend you are before you make any huge changes in your babys life though. Problems happen when its one guy after another coming in and out of your babys life.
    nicholeluvslucy

    Answer by nicholeluvslucy at 2:29 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • When you say BF wants to be involved "now", how do you mean? Does he want visitation? Is he willing to pay CS? If so, then I would try it for a while and see if he can prove to be trusted as a positive and responsible father. If it doesn't work out and he starts messing up, I would go through the courts and see what they can do. I've been in this situation with the BF of my older two. He was in my son's life for about 2 years & never in my daughter's. My SO & I have been together for 8 yrs. and in that time, BF has seen them MAYBE 10 times (honestly and literally). They've called my SO dad for the past 6 1/2 yrs. even though they know their BF. MO, it does more harm than good when the BF is in & out of their life b/c children need stability and consistency. I would talk to SO and see where he stands and go from there. GL and hope this helps some.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 3:36 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • How committed are you to your bf? If you already have him in your sons life you must trust him. Do you plan on having a long term relationship with him? Why was the babys father not involved before? Makes me question the bil fathers committment to his son. If you are committed to the bf and have no plans to leave him and his is good to your son talk to him about how you feel. Good men don't come by to many times in a lifetime.
    morekids226

    Answer by morekids226 at 8:47 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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