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Me and my babies father got prego just after a month and a half being together. He moved out during my pregnancy and when the baby was born came back into the picture! We are now split again and this time its very ugly. He is going after Custody, which I beat him too, but its just really ugly. He is asking that if he doesn't get custody (which he won't) then he wants TONS of visitation. I know its in the babies best interest to know her dad, but he isn't a dad, he is a pile of crap! He doesn't change diapers, feed, bath anything. (she is 4 months old). How much should I give him????? In my state they legally only get 6 hrs a week divided into 3 visits, but I can give more if I want...what would you do??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I would say give him every other weekend if you can trust him to care for her and then one night a week. If you don't trust him to have her overnight then I would offer him one weekend day each week from like 7 am to 5 pm and then an afternoon during the week. You need to do whatever is easiest for your daughter to adjust to. How old is she?
    tagable

    Answer by tagable at 3:01 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • make the court order him to take parent classes

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • i know alot of dads that fought for custody, but they lost interest after the divorce was final. as the mother of such a young child, you need full custody. the baby needs you more than anything. stay strong and healthy.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 3:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • (she said 4 months)
    I'd say the minimum at this very young age. And only during the day, since you are not sure what care he will give her. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Tgable....4 months old like stated above :) haha.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well if he's the pile of crap you say he is then i'd only give him the smallest amount available and if he ever decides he wants to be a dad in the future or maybe wen she gets a little older then you could maybe extend the visitation a little. I know how you feel. I was in the same situation pretty much...pregnant after a month and a half...long story short...married, divorced, he gave me full custody and wanted visitation but he's only came and seen her twice in the past 18 months. She has a real daddy now tho. If I were you I'd let him see her the smallest amount. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I'd give him what the court says you have to and no more until he can prove he can be trusted
    emtmommyamanda

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 3:10 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well if he is not reliable and does not take care of her (changing diapers, feed, bathe) then I would try to get it so he has supervised visits only (since she is a little helpless baby), and only allow the smallest amount of visitation time possible. I would also have it be a requirement that he be ordered to take parenting classes. If he improves and becomes a good father, maybe when she is older I would increase visitation time. Good luck!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well said emtmommyamanda. That's what I was going to say.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • First off you didn't have to run out and beat him to custody. You automatically have full custody of your child as a mom. He doesn't sound as if he is ready to be a father. Furthermore, a baby that young is best with mother. In Georgia, there is not a law saying the baby or child has to sleep over the noncustodial parents house. Give him supervised visits at your house. My guess is he will stop coming over if he really just wanted to upset you. Try it; it works.
    Godswk

    Answer by Godswk at 5:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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