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How long should I give him?

We are trying to work things out and it just seems to me like we are not going anywhere. We have been together for a couple of years, we broke up and now we are trying to work things out. We no longer live together and it seems to me like he doesn't have time for us, he never let's me know what's going on in his life and never makes plans to be with my son and I. He keeps telling me that he is going to try but I never see any effort from him. How long should I allow him to try?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Looks to me as if this train has left the station. You and he are just going through the motions. Don't count on him anymore. Make your own life. It will be easier if you aren't waiting for him to change.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:44 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • i would tell him what i told my husband. i wanted certain things from my fiance at the time and didn't want to change him but have him change himself. i told him what i expected and that i was giving myself a certain timeline that he is unaware about. i gave myself 3 months. if he didn't make any changes by then i was going to continue to live by life and let him go. he started right away cause he didn't want to lose me. we are now happily married. he asked me later how much time i had given him. he was surprised how long it was. i didn't think 3 months was that long but glad he didn't wait til the end to change.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:54 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • seems to me you have given him plenty of chances.. try a little tough love... act indifferent, and like you have moved on.. if he truly wants to work things out, this will give him that nice kick in the butt that he needs.. but if he doesn't, then he will be okay with this, and you will know you made the right choice to move on. good luck.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:54 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • How desperate are you?

    Seriously, some women wouldn't wait a week, some women would wait their whole lives. You have to make this decision honey.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • it sounds to me like you have already made up your mind about this relationship and he could (although right now hes not) he could jump over the moon for you and its not going to change how you feel if you want out you need to get out

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:20 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I dont have anything wonderful to ad cuz i think they are all good answers-
    I just want to say goodluck- i wish you happiness- and i think you should try to lean alittle on God.
    I asked God to change my youngest child's father- or take him out of my heart- cause i loved him very much -though i was being abused- ( though it took years) I now have a wonderful husband who is everything i didnt even know i needed! and more- and my daughters are way happier with thier stepdad-then thier own father-
    i wish you that same happiness. and i'll pray or you!

    Answer by KITTYLITTLES at 4:32 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I think you already know the answer. It's time to move on.

    Answer by L.A.F.outloud at 5:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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