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after a spanking

my daughter just got a spanking for drawing on the wall with a permanet marker on purpose my daughter is 6 and knows what she is doing she wrote all over the wall just because i told her she could not have ice cream before dinner she thought it was funny my husband came home he gave her a spanking and now she is punished my husband told her to stay in her room until she is able to tell us why she did it my husband left to go back to work he is a surgeon so he had to go back to the ER she wil only listen to me when my husband is home since hes more of the disciplinarin what should i do she keeps running down the stairrs sticking her tounge out jumping on the bed rolling on the floor and acting crazy just to make me mad im losing it and i dont want to go NUTS ..... HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • Don't say anything to her. Just take her back to her room every time she does it and if she has any toys in her room, take them, a TV take it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well I dont spank mine so I dont know what to say. But I would keep her in her room for 6 minutes at a time since time out is supposed to be one minute per yr. I would also bring her down and get down on her level and ask her why she is acting this way and explain how it hurts mommy when she treats mommy so badly.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:15 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I think asking a six year old to understand that she "hurts mommy's feelings" is a bit much.

    YOU are the adult. YOU need to take charge. Keep her in her room if that's where she is supposed to be. Make sure she understands WHY she is being punished - have her help scrub the walls if needed.

    Grow a backb one. You can totally do it.

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:18 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • HA - backb one. My fat fingers don't type so good.

    Anyway - you can be the grown up here. Your child, at 6, cannot hurt your feelings unless you allow yourself to feel that way.

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:27 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • You can't just let her do things like this. She's doing it because you let her. Be firm and stand your ground. You said your husband is the disiplinarian, well it sounds like its time for you to step up to the plate as well.

    Answer by craftykidsclub at 4:38 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I would call a time out on your self. You need a break. She's six, so just make sure she is safe, draw a cozy bath and just relax and remove yourself from her antics. I would first make sure all the markers and crayons are out of reach though. Then make it known you are relaxing and do not wish to be interrupted. After you take a few moments to relax then deal with what is next. Like I said, as long as she is safe you are good. Then when she has whooped and hollered it all out of her ...... sit down and have a serious snuggle time. But with an actual teaching moment attached. Ask her why she thinks there are laws. Then why do we have them? Explain that laws are rules and we have them to keep people safe, healthy, and to live in peace with each other. cont...


    Answer by frogdawg at 4:46 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • cont...Then ask what rules does she think that kids have. What rules does she need. What are the rules of your home? Why? Name them why: safety for that one, to be healthy for this one, so we don't argue and kill each other over that one (the peace reason). Tell her that in the past she and you have not had such a good history of working together to make sure the rules are operated as smoothly as they should be. Tell her that you would prefer, as her parent too, to also help make sure that she understands she is safe, healthy, happy, and has a peaceful environment. Then talk about what happened today. Without bashing her. Then ask her if she were the mom, what would she do? The thing is....she already had her punishment: she got a spanking. cont...


    Answer by frogdawg at 4:50 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • cont...Obviously it didn't solve anything nor did it teach her anything. So if this were me, I would have to let the crayon incident go. Punishment administered and poor choice on the parenting decision on the particular punishment. However, what does need a consequence is the not listening to you after your husband left. Now get creative and find a solution. She may even give you one when she is talking to you. Suggestion, take away her television for the night. Unplug every television and computer. Or take a toy she plays with - but just for the night. Don't over do and don't hold grudges. Oh, and get Love and Logic - you will find it a helpful read.

    Answer by frogdawg at 4:53 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Spare the rod, spoil the child.. I'm not saying to beat your kid, but spanking is legal! I told another mom earlier,, It will be a cold day in Hell before I let my 5 yr old Run Me like that! Not Happening here! Whatever your husband is using as discipline, you should try that, and then some! Let her know who's also BoSS when Dad isn't around!

    Answer by aniyasm at 5:37 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Ohhhh I know it is tough to discipline your are the mommy and you hate to see them upset, BUT they need to know that it isn't only Daddy who's the boss. You can't just START disciplining like your husband does because you haven't been running your house this way from the beginning. Your daughter won't take you seriously at first. Start taking control with small stuff that you know will get her attention and then move on to bigger issues. Pretty soon she will know you and your husband are the bosses of the house and she won't push your buttons AS MUCH anymore. Changing your level of authority won't be easy and won't happen overnight, but it does need to be done for your own sanity.

    Answer by AvaJewel00 at 2:08 PM on Jan. 21, 2009

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