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Is it me or is my mom......

My mom seems somewhat manipulative and controlling. When I was 19 I got pregnant by my bf. Iwasn't staying at home, him and I got our own place and where doing our own thing. When I moved out I had to tell my mom the day of that I was leaving because I knew she would spaz. I was so right she called the police and tried to have me arrested and threatened me to not come back on her property again. She still brings that up til this day but forgot about the part of her calling the police on me. Well when I got pregnant she went around telling everyone I only did it to keep my bf who I'd ended up being with for alomst 3 years. She later started placing tips on him with the police and he was arrested. Of course he knew who it was like I did and we ended up splitting up, I moved back in with my mom. One night I asked her to watch my son and she ignored me, my son crept into the kitchen and pulled a cup off the counter. He ended up having 2nd degree burns and when we got to the hospital, when the police asked if she thought I would do it on purpose, she just looked at me. They took my son from me and gave her custody. She later told me she hated this beause she hated my son because he was the seed of my ex. I didn't have custody for my son and for that month she refused to let me see, him even my dad said she was acting crazy. I got himback once it was proved it was an accident and my son has NEVER been hurt since. My moms the type where if you don't do what she tells you, she threatens you. I currently live with her because I'm waiting on my house to be built (i have like 3 more weeks) but I'm seriously considering disappearing. She just strikes me as controlling. If I don't come and see her, she pops up at my house and if I don't let her in, she gets an attitude. If I tell her we have plans and my son can't come over and spend the night she has a fit. And she feels my son sheould come over every weekend and I should call her everyday. I told her I was moving 45 minutes away when I bought my house and she didn't talk to me for a week saying my husband was trying to move me away from her. If I tell her Im spending time with my husband she gets mad and now she doesn't like him, but has yet to explain to me why. Since I have been living with her she has even hung up in his face because we were arguing and she took the phone and said she didn't want to hear it which only made things worse of course. Which I think is what she wants. When I feed my son, she gets pissed if its not what she wants him to eat. When she thinks he needs a bath she expects me to stop what I'm doing to bathe him. I'm 25 years old, I don't need any assistance in raising my kids. I asked to stay here so I wouldn't have to extend my lease but I"m kind of regretting it. Whenever I say something to her, she always says 'I knew you hated me.' My oldest sister still lives here, at 29 I don't know how, but she just ignores her and leaves a lot. I'm just planning to ignore her attempts these next few weeks and fly out of here asap without looking back. Phone call here and there but she's killing, me, esp. when she threatens me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Jan. 9, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sounds like a bad environment for you and your son. She can't be constantly undermining you in front of him. I would see about staying with other friends or family until your house is done.

    Answer by mom2lyl at 3:59 AM on Jan. 9, 2012

  • Holy hell woman! I thought my family was wack, but yours OP, takes the cherry!! LOL No offense OP. But I do know I would rather sleep in a cardboard box then staying with your mother. If its possible, I would go to a woman's shelter. ASAFP!!! Talk about a toxic relationship! But I do strongly believe your mother may start getting violent with your son, and even blame you for abusing your son when it happens to be done by her hand. You know CPS will act on that tip, then they will look at the previous incident with the hot coffee, and although it was ruled a accident, they may say this is a pattern of behavior, and the judge will give them the warrant to come into the house and take your son. I hope that house you are getting gets finished early!

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 4:03 AM on Jan. 9, 2012

  • Any chance you can move that new house further away from her? She sounds like a live wire. You need to just use her house as a place to sleep at night, if at all possible. Where is your husband staying? Is he there with you? You do need to ignore her as much as possible, but she will probably escalate it as time grows nearer for you to leave because she knows she will be losing some control over your life.

    Try to get out one or two weeks earlier than the date that you tell her, even if you have to stay in a hotel for a week. You might really avoid a huge blow up with her that way. Keep your moving date a secret and just get out of there.

    Answer by spottedpony at 4:45 AM on Jan. 9, 2012

  • It is time to cut this toxic person out of your life

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:37 AM on Jan. 9, 2012

  • I would cut her off until she got some help. She will try to come between you and your DH once you are in your house.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:20 AM on Jan. 9, 2012

  • It's time to stand your ground! Write her a long letter explaining to her what's going on, what the rules are and if she doesn't like it then she can move on with her life! She will get over it! She is just playing a masculine role! She needs to stop acting that way. I agree with you she does seem controlling but it's your life, your an adult, a mother and a woman! You don't need her bossyness!

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 12:45 AM on Jan. 10, 2012

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