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How can I get a 10 and 12 year old to do their chores?

I am trying to get a nanny position and this is the situation: "I wanted to find out from you how you motivate the kids to get their chores done and get them to behave. My 2 boys fight often and it does get stressful, how would handle this type of situation. My 12 y/o picks on my 10 y/o and it does get out of hand sometimes, how would you handle the situation? ?
I am not sure how to answer this question and I really want this job, but it has been so long since I've worked with children of that age, that i am clueless!Help!

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Asked by jenniferinvt23 at 7:30 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • Getting them to stop picking on each other is simple. You would redirect their attention some place else and seperate them from each other so that would end the conflict. You would give them other things to keep them occupied. As for chores you would implimate a reward system. For each time a chore was done correctly you would write it down on a chart with a star and after so many positive stars they get a reward. Those who choose not to do what they are asked get nothing. On days off or time when mom and dad are home those who did their best and earned it would earn a night of pizza or out somewhere they chose.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:33 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • While the reward system is a good idea, it also leaves the choice of performing chores up to the child. If the chores are something that have to be done, then that needs to be absolutely clear to the children. We have a list of stuff that my 9 year old son has to do. He cannot opt out of doing those. We have things that he does not have to do, but gets an allowance if done, listed in a seperate area. As for the fighting, redirect their attention and seperate them if need be. If they are seeking each other out to fight, they are bored. Find out about enrolling them into after-school activites like sports, or different clubs.

    Answer by Angel8203 at 7:45 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • MUSIC. On chore day in my hse EVERYONE cleans. I have 4 and my god-daughter is 10, I get her every weekend. We'll blast the CDplayer or radio. We get buckets, sponges, cleaning products all work together. A small list of chores for each: my 5 y/o cleans the outside of the fridge, microwave and dust the dinning rm table, while my gd-d's sweeping the kitchen and shed my, 13 y/o washing dishes and cleaning the stove, while I'm vaccumming the living and dinning rm. Busy hands are happy hands. The music helps the mood of those who don't feel like cleaning. They're gonna hear 1 of their fav. songs eventually, before you know it, everyones on the same page. I always reward a job well done, we do pizza or taco night, and play video or board games. Time together is important, and cleaning has to be done, so why not combine the two?

    Answer by Dmommy4 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I just wanted to clarify that if my son does not do something that is required of him, then he does not get any of his privileges. I.E. playing with friends, TV, video games, desert, etc. And the requirments are to be done at a certain time everyday. Weekdays it is when he gets home from school after his homework. Weekends it is around 4 PM.

    Answer by Angel8203 at 7:54 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Are they fighting over chores? If so that's simple assign different chores to each nothing is combined. This way you know who has to do what and if its not done who didn't do it and thus who loses something. Now if the fighting is just happening over everything well that's a bit more difficult but not impossible to solve. I would sit the boys down and make sure they remember the house rules (ie no hitting etc) and refresh them on what the consequences will be for a violation of a rule. Then stick to it my mother used to make my brother and I say 5 positive things about the other every time we started fighting, we hated it but it was a deterrent.

    Answer by xmasbaby73 at 2:00 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Have you heard of the website It's a great website to get them modivated to help. Just give them different chores in oppisite sides of the house so they aren't arguing over who does what. Then after there done go to the website an check off what they did. They also have for homework, behavior, healthy habbits (brushing teeth and taking shower ect.) They get points to decorate a cat of there choice and earn privilages. Hope this helps.

    Answer by kidsmomof2 at 11:28 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

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