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Cheating husband..

Well my husband was cheating on me back in April (only for a couple of days) and I found out about it about 2 weeks ago..and it was nothing physical but it was an online thing..he posted an ad on craigslist (a dirty ad not sure what it said though)..and he got some replies and was talking to a couple of women through IM (on AIM) and of course emails..and he talked about meeting up with them but I guess never did and the one girl he was talking to a lot he told her everything..about being married and that he shouldnt be doing this and realized what he was doing was wrong and he quit doing all of it right away..

Now how do I regain my trust with him? what would you ladies do?

Answer Question

Asked by MomTo2Boys2526 at 3:48 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Honey, I'm sorry I cant give you good news! besides keep your head up! you are always going to have these thouughts in the back of your head! You will always be thinking what is he doing on the computer? is he cheating? hopefully you guys can move on and be happy! When you guys argue try not to bring up the past

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 3:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Wow. Sorry to hear this is happening to you. I guess all you can do now is for HIM to show you that he can be trusted again. You can't do anything. He has to prove to you that he is trustworthy again.

    Answer by IBCris at 3:58 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I would leave his ass. You are NEVER going to fully trust him again. Every time his is on the computer, comes home late, or goes out with his friends, you are going to worry if he is up to his old tricks.

    Answer by KimberlyMonique at 4:05 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I think that if you become active you'll have a sense of having worked on the problem therefore you will be more willing to trust him again. There is an issue there, this didn't happen for no reason. By no means am I trying to say that it was your fault! But something has to be missing for him to feel the need to go online for that kind of attention. Maybe if we become active in trying to find out what it is you need to work on, you guys can work it out and keep going forward. If you guys could sit and talk about why he did this, listen without judging, and get down to the root of why... then you guys can work on that area of your marriage. And since you guys changed and worked the problem out, you'll feel more comfortable trusting him again.

    Answer by ERICA_M at 4:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • It's not your job to just give him your trust. At this point he has to understand that in order to recieve trust, he needs to earn it back. How would he feel if the shoes were switched?

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 4:35 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • What he did stinks but if he didn't actually meet up with any of these girls I don't think he cheated. You two need to talk about what he was looking for when he was talking to these women and openly discuss how the two of you can find whatever he was seeking within the confines of your marriage.

    Answer by Eliza34 at 4:36 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • install a key logger program on the PC when he isnt home and check the logs when he isnt home. You'll know right away if he is still looking to hook up with another woman, AND exactly what he is saying.

    Answer by vbruno at 4:47 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I have heard councilors say that the person who cheats has to let you ask as many questions as you want and check all their stuff email, voice mail and whatever else you want. He broke the trust so its up to him to be uncomfortable for a while. If he gets mad about you invading his "privacy" then he is probably still cheating or not being understanding and not truly sorry for what he did.

    Answer by Ivey at 4:49 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I also like vbruno's answer lol

    Answer by Ivey at 4:50 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I agree with several of the ladies, HE needs to prove to YOU that he can be trusted. But you have to be willing to put some of it behind you. It is a hard thin line to walk.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

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