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New mom very lost about babies cries

Ive heard if you hold a baby too much that it spoils them. My daughter is 3 weeks old& sometimes she cries even after all her needs are met. Should i still try to hold her and soothe her for hours until im losing my mind or should i just put her in her bassinet and let her cry it out at her age?

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Asked by TastyPeach6969 at 9:54 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (16)
  • let her cry it wont hurt her it will help her lungs the docs all say it dont hurt to let them cry as long as you know there is nothing wrong and shes ate and so on

    Answer by wendy232425 at 9:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • you generally can't spoil a baby until about 6 months you can hold her all you want. She might be a colic baby too

    Answer by smnice at 9:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • That is a "dumb" old saying about spoiling them..soon you will not be able to keep her in your lap. Anyways, if her needs are met, then yes. If she cannot be satisfied you may want to look up info on colic..see if she has any of those symptoms.

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • It is a myth that crying is good for a new baby and studies have shown that it could actually do some harm because if the baby is crying too much they are not breathing enough. You can not spoil a baby that young. When you say "all her needs are met" you missing one very important need, the need to be close to mommy. Babies can't be spoiled until after six months when they learn the cause and effect relationship. Cuddle your baby all you want, but don't get stressed. If you feel stressed then see if someone can come over and help you out or let your partner take a turn. Good luck and congrats!!

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • You can't spoil a baby until they're 6 months old. if your LO is crying for at least 3 hours a day starting around the 3rd week at night(past 5 pm) then she probably has colic. If thats teh case try a special formula for colic and gas or if your BF then thats the best.. but if you are frustrated put your baby down in her crib or bassinet and WALK AWAY! or if you are somewhere where its warm go for a walk or if its cold go to the mall and walk around, it's soothing for your baby./ if walking isn't possibly for whatever reason then just put her down in a safe place and walk away, it's the best thing you can do for your LO! whatever you do don't shak your baby! I know its frustrating when they can't tell you whats wrong, but soon you'll learn her cries and you'll be a pro!

    Answer by Kelly_Ann at 10:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • you can't spoil a baby. CIO does hurt. the helping their lungs thing is total bullshit. babies aren't meant to cry for nothing. our society is one of the very few that practices this. a 3 week old needs alot. not just food. & if your formula feeding, she could be having tummy troubles. buy a sling. it'll help so much to be able to keep her close and content while you have your 2 hands. carry her. she's a baby. babies are meant to be held. think of the secure feeling she had for those 9mos & then just being left alone to cry. remember, when they don't see you, they believe you've disappeared forever. CIO causes extreme stress & can lead to brain damage/lower IQ.

    Answer by jus1jess at 10:20 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • "Ive heard if you hold a baby too much that it spoils them"

    Whoever told you that is a dimwitted buffoon. Spoiled children have their values screwed up, they think you prove your love with "things," not through affection. Spoiled children don't know right from wrong. How is holding your child going to do either of these things?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • it is impossible to spoil a baby until after at least 6 should hold her as much as you can. if she cries constantly, you may want to get the doc to check her out. if you need a break from the crying, just make sure ALL her needs are met and lay her down and walk out for about 5 minutes (stay within hearing distance). good luck!

    Answer by tstep972 at 10:20 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • There is no way you could spoil a 3 week old. As the other women are saying. I am actually reading this book I picked up, called THE SCIENCE OF PARENTING. I've only read the first few chapters, but it saying that if you let your baby(under 5 years old) cry for long periods of time continuously, it isn't good for them in the long run. Yes, they will stop crying eventually, but that doesn't mean it is a complete success. They will become quiet, and unsociable when they get older and wont be able to cope with stress very well.

    Answer by ReginaGallo at 10:30 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • If you however, do everything to calm her down and that doesn't work. Find someone who will be calm and help out. Just remember, YOU have to be calm first, before you ever even try to calm down a baby. If you are truly feeling tense, your baby can sense it and will not be comfortable. Their brains are not fully developed to use crying as method to munipulate you at this age. What I try to do is just read to my baby, or sing to him and have eye to eye contact. That seems to work, when nothing else wont. Just remember, you need to relax FIRST.

    Answer by ReginaGallo at 10:30 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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