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I keep crying and feel horrible about myself. My husband calls me fat and checks out other women, how can he say he loves me when he checks other women out right in front of me all the time?

Ok so todayI was cleaning house andI put my boyfriends boxer/breifs on,he walked in and saw me and said so thats why all of my underwear is stretched out!I waited till he went to work and thenI couldnt stop crying.I had a baby 4 months ago and before I had the babyI was little tan long blonde hair size 6 nowI am a size 14 if not bigger XL in everything for the first time in my life I feel horrible about myself.I dont want to go out becauseI dont want people to see me like this,and he doesnt help. When we go out he checks out every girl he sees and I catch him doing it right in front of me.Its not just a glance its like a triple take/check out.I get so hurt by it and I have even said something to him about it and he still does it.I have been working out everyday starving myself crying whenever he leaves.I am so depressed.Went to the Dr. he told me I was fine and its a phase,but I hurt inside and its hurting my relationship.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • It isn't a "phase"..Continue to focus on yourself, but don't starve yourself, that doesn't help with losing weight! Eat 5-6 small meals throughout the day. Ifyou are working on you rweight, why are you ashamed of yourself? He sounds like a typical man...Honey, I am 5'5, 117 pds, and my hubby does it too!! It probably isn't to hurt you ..it's just how they are programmed. But, put yo rself first and you will soon be back like you were before.
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 10:12 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I was exactly the same way. I was a size 6-7 before and after I was 12-14. My ex husband didn't out right call me fat but I knew I was and I'd get so depressed and he would also check out girls right in front of me. My daughter is now 3 and I'm just now back to a size 7. Sit him down and tell him how you feel and how he makes you feel. And for self esteem, something I did was started laying on the tanning bed bc I felt like being tan made me look smaller. Me and my mom would joke and say tanned fat looked better than untanned fat lol Just let him know how you feel...but most men are asses and some dont even realize it.
    misspriss_1987

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 10:22 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • You need to find something that BOOST your self esteem. If he is CHECKING out other girls do you honestly think if you were 100 lbs and 5' 7" and a total hottie he would NEVER EVER EVER look at another girl again? Come on!!! Boys will be boys. Try wearing your own clothes so you don't have to worry about him making stupid comments like that! You need to find a new man!!!!
    DancerMomof2

    Answer by DancerMomof2 at 10:39 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • To hell with him. I hate men like this. They are so ignorant. Get yourself dressed up looking nice and walk out the damn door. If he wants to come you make sure you be more flirtaious then he ever was. If you have to leave him to go and talk to another man let him know your weight is nothing but pure beauty and if he doesn't like it then the next man will
    MrsTGray

    Answer by MrsTGray at 10:40 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • It takes some time to lose weight after having a baby. Honestly, checking out other women is sick. Is he still hot and horny in bed? Maybe if you attack him every night for a week that might stop? (Just wondering if he is behaving badly due to lack of sleep/sex? Not that it makes it right!)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • i agree with MrsTGray!
    forget that loser, make yourself look nice and go get the attention you deserve and fi he doesn't like it, oh well, you tried telling him it hurts and he doesn't care so why should you give a rats a$$ about him?
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 11:21 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Go get some help for yourself because you are hurting of everything he is doing to you. Get counseling to bring up your self esteem and also start to figure out what you have to do for yourself as a human being. Also he needs to go as well because he married you. If he doesn't want to and starts to say that he doesn't need to go and that it is all in your head then you are just beginning to see how he really doesn't love you. Be strong always in front of him at home and when you are out in public. If he agrees to getting help then the healing will begin.
    GOYA

    Answer by GOYA at 11:29 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I know exactly how you feel, i have been there girl!! I do know the more you make a big deal of it, the more he will do it! I know it's easier said than done, but work on yourself. Once you regain confidence in yourself, you're not going to care who he's looking at...trust me! Men are visual....it is what it is! starving yourself is a big no no! continue to workout everyday if you can... you will get there. Good luck and congratulations on your little one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • THIS MAKES ME SO MAD, I HATE MEN THAT FEEL THAT HAVE TO BEAT A FEMALE DOWN BECAUSE THEY HATE THEM SELF, OR BECAUSE HE IS AFFRAID SOME ONE WILL WANT YOU. IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU WOULD PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO. NO MAN SHOULD TREAT YOU THAT WAY. AND YOU SHOULD NOT LET IT HAPPEN. I HAVE TO SAY, AND I HOPE YOU DONT GET MAD, BUT MEN ONLY GIVE US WHAT WE LET THEM. IF YOU MAKE IT KNOWN YOU WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THAT CRAP THEN HE WOULD NOT GIVE IT TO YOU, PACK HIS CLOTHS AND PUT THEM IN THE YARD. AND GO FIND YOUR SELF A REAL MAN. A MAN THAT WILL TREAT YOU AND LOVE YOU AND NEVER DISRESPECT YOU THAT WAY. I HOPE YOU CAN SEE HOW PRETTY , SMART, AND KIND YOU ARE. AND LEAVE HIS SORRY ASS ALONE.
    ♥ Patty M ♥
    MOMofTwo_99_00

    Answer by MOMofTwo_99_00 at 12:30 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • sounds to me like you need to get a new doctor, i mean this is normal after you have a baby (my first i was 112lbs when i got pregnant and 215 the day i had her omg i wanted to die!!!) i realize now there is nothing sexier then a mama and if your man doesnt see that find one that does! and as for your doctor he needs to acknowledge that this can be a MAJOR problem for some women, dont starve yourself the diet that worked great for me (i was back down to 120 by the time i got pregnant with my second nine months later lol) was cherios all the time lol and there are like 10 different kindas of cherios that are all healthy and taste great i didnt even get sick of em lol but i eat cherios and i also got the yogurat smoothie things they sell in the dairy section of the grocery store chin up girlie things do get better but seriously find a new doctor
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:35 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

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