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What should I do about my boyfriend who is looking at porn when I'm not home?

He's a wonderful man who works very hard. He's kind and generous and my children love him. He makes me laugh so much. We seem to be on opposite sides of the sexual pole though. I have a higher sex drive then he does...or so he claims. We have sex once or twice a week. I could do it three times a day...I'd settle for once a day. We both work 45+ hours a week though. He claims he's just tired but why is it when I go to do some work on the home computer I can start to type a website and it's set to auto finish the name and I get stuff like and in the history? Why does he need to look at this??? Grrr. Help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Jul. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Have you sat down and talked to him about it? It may not be an easy discussion for you to discuss, but remember communication is the key truthfully get all of your feelings out to him about how you feel about your sex life and then how you feel about the porn. Most importantly talk calmly don't yell or get frustrated he will automatically push the mute button on you if you do this. Good Luck in getting your situation resolved.

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 6:58 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • My sexual drive was down a while back and a friend said to me that all the porn I watch with my SO was causing a sexual stimulation overload. You might suggest to him that if he stops watching it for a while his drive will return. That way he knows you know and not yelling at him over it. I weaned my SO away from it. I'm sure he still watches when I'm not around but I can't stop him. I just appreciate him and tell him so, for what he does with me (and to me) and hope that keeps him busy and out of mischief on those sites!

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:41 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I would sit and talk to him. Let him know it bothers you because the time he spends looking at it on the web he could actually be with you... a real person!

    Answer by mt4904 at 7:43 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I agree with mt4904
    A great book (I read it as well as my husband) is Breaking Free by Russel Willingham.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:02 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • This is an ugly situation to have to deal with. You have to talk to him about it and tell him how much it bothers you. Maybe you guys can work something out where he just watches with you and that will be you guys freaky night. The code may have to be changed if he does not behave.

    Answer by SexiFala at 2:47 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • My advice, this may sound crazy, is to start watching it with him. If your sex drive is that strong then why wouldn't you enjoy it to. If nothing else its a was of starting "something" for the two of you. Also its turning something uncomfortable into something you two can share.

    Answer by KlieneMutter at 11:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

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