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Military Moms?

Ok so a little background..I'm 21 with a 5 year old daughter (yup. had her when I was 16...)
I've been in the Army 3 years, and have heard everything from praise to speculation to out right disrespect and criticism. I dont socialize with a lot of army wives due to the fact that when I have, I'm their friend at first but that I'm considered a threat or the female who is sleeping with everyone ( Because I am in "shape" and considered "hot") and soon there after I find myself isolated and am told how horrible of a mother I am for leaving my child to deploy...

I just would honestly love everyone's honest opinion. If your for moms being in the service or not? Does this make me a bad mother? In my eyes no, I'm serving my country, I have medical, dental, a stable paycheck and surprisingly an amazing support system. I love my job and I love my family. I don't down the stay at home mothers, I give you all props because I don't have that patience or strength to do that. But I am proud of who I am..Even with the confidence I have, having people you consider friends and CLOSE friends say those things..over time it puts thoughts in the back of your head..

ANYWAYS lol I just want to know other moms opinion..

Answer Question
 
armymom1219

Asked by armymom1219 at 8:42 PM on Jan. 12, 2012 in Military

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I wanted to join the military and I did but there were some paperwork problems and I had to wait. I had planned on going into the military when my husband was deployed but I got pregnant. At this point, I will not join active duty. I had planned on joining the reserves when my son was older but they have dropped the age back down to 35, so I probably will never get the chance, but that's okay. For me personally, I don't think I would make a good solider because I would miss my son too much. However, that is just me and my beliefs for myself. I don't look down on any mom who is in the military. As far as the other wives who turn their backs on you, they are just jealous. I hope that you are able to find some friends.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 8:53 PM on Jan. 12, 2012

  • if your child is well taken care of while you are deployed then these so called moms and people need to keep their mouths shut! I am very sorry you have to deploy at times but I am proud of you for being there for THOSE people- to try and make it safe for THOSE people to live the life they have.

    You are not a bad mom! Dont allow others comments to get to you......chin up momma!
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 8:56 PM on Jan. 12, 2012

  • I was in the Navy and got out before kids because I can not imagine leaving them myself. Although I would never look down upon someone who makes that choice for their family. My husband is still in and how is any different for a Mother to serve than a Father? As long as it is the right decision for you and your kids no one else's opinion matters.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:27 PM on Jan. 12, 2012

  • i have a "brother" (hes my middle school best friend and still is)who is a dad in the army and I'm greatful he does risk his life for us to live ours. why is it ok for a dad to be in the army or whatever but not a mom? i agree 100% with luv!!! keep your head held high and know that more people are happy that you do your job than there are that think badly of you. ((hugs))
    mamide02ninas

    Answer by mamide02ninas at 9:31 PM on Jan. 12, 2012

  • Thank you for your service !! :-) Dealing with jealousy can bite. Just keep on doing what makes you happy and don't worry about it. I can imagine how frustrating it is. We all need friends and when you are in shape and hot, some women are totally threatened. Eventually you will meet a secure woman and will make good friends. Don't let the "other" ones affect you at all. Life is short. When you meet the right guy it will make things easier for you. Until then hang in there. You are NOT a bad mom. You are setting a great role model for your daughter. Everyone has their own opinions, just listen to yours and ignore the others.. Thanks again !


    american flag ribbon

    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 9:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2012

  • My husband deals with similar criticism. He has a daughter from a previous marriage that he does not have primary custody of, and because he's not there all the time, his ex (and his mom and sister) think he's a bad parent, regardless of how great he is with his kids. His dad, SM, and step-sis know that he's just doing what's best for his daughter, and for the children we have together (3 of them). He is able to provide a stable pay check, insurance, housing, food, etc, AND the kids are able to have things they need (school supplies, clothes, etc) and things they want (toys, movies, trips, etc). The kids have good lives because of his job. In fact, he joined just after our oldest (his daughter with his ex) was born just so he could provide for her and make sure she is taken care of. It doesn't make you a bad parent to be in the military.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 11:53 PM on Jan. 12, 2012

  • You're not a bad mom and you have every right to be proud of who you are and what you're doing. That said, I do find it sad that you will miss out on much of her childhood. They're only little once and time is so precious. To put it in better perspective, maybe you should look at it through her eyes. As she grows up, do you think she will be proud of you and think you were a great mom? Or do you think she might resent you for not being around very much? Just something to think about.
    popzaroo

    Answer by popzaroo at 6:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2012

  • I don't judge mom's who are serving our country, it's heroic and brave and who wouldn't want a mother like that? My heart does break for them though, I just really can't imagine.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 14, 2012

  • Thank you for your service!! You are NOT a bad mom at all!! you are a great role model!! Sounds to me like you need new friends!! Please message me, I would love to chat with you!! God Bless you!!
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 10:12 PM on Jan. 18, 2012

  • As a mom, its not something I understand (not putting you down, just stating how I feel) especially when kids are small. I have seen the effect my husband leaving has on our kids and it breaks my heart. I could not fathom me leaving too, and putting them through that. I think its great that you are serving our country but as a mom, while I love my country, I love my kids more.
    KWnavywife

    Answer by KWnavywife at 2:25 PM on Jan. 22, 2012

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