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Why do you think?

I read a lot of people telling others if you go into a relationship on an affair it won't last. My boyfriend left his wife for me and it has been two years and we are still going strong. His 10 year old daughter doesn't like me and he still is with me. He even buys my 5 year daughter stuff. So why do people automatically assume it won't last?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 AM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Well it could last but have you ever thought about how his poor wife feels about being left? Just wondering.

    Answer by Peekalou at 6:11 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • It can last. But who would want a man who would marry a woman who his child doesn't like? Or worse, one that dates married men?

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:16 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • It could work. Ever heard the saying "a leopard doesn't change his spots"? My ex cheated on me. I left him. He has remarried 2 other times and has cheated on ALL his wives.

    Answer by Dani32 at 6:28 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I'm really not trying to be rude, but 2 years is hardly a long-lasting relationship. Don't get me wrong, I hope everything works out for you and 2 turns into 20. But I think the issue of going into a relationship that started as an affair is that you already know he's CAPABLE of cheating on someone he's supposed to love. A lot of people would have some trust issues. But every situation is different...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • What kind of example are you setting for your daughter? Are you teaching her it is ok to wreck other people's marriages? Are you teaching her that one day her husband will leave her for the "other woman"? I feel sorry for his child and yours, frankly. IMO, women like yourself and that "man" you are with should have to wear a scarlet letter, so the rest of us know to stay away.

    So umm yeah, good luck!

    eye rolling


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Two years doesnt mean it is going to last. My ex husband had an affair with the woman he is with now and the only reason he moved in with her is after begging me to take him back no one else wanted him, not his mother, sister, aunts or uncles. They didnt agree with the lack of morals and cheating he thought was alright to perpetrate on someone he committed himself to. The reason most dont last is the relationship is started on a lie. He cheated with you and somewhere in the back of HIS or YOUR mind you wonder if itll last, if the other will cheat etc. If they cheat with you they will cheat on you. Its common sense.
    Second I agree with the other women here. You are teaching your child to be immoral by going with a married man. His son doesnt like you bc you are the other woman and he never will. My son is 9 and hates his soon to be step mom and often asks if she knows shes ugly. Thatll never go away. Karma is a bitch.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:12 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • sometimes when a person married young they are not really sure on what they want, at many times people marry for the wrong reason, like cute face or similar
    now that they have life experience and maturity they are likely to be more secure with job/career they may look for different qualities in a person......they make enjoy a personality or enjoy having similar likes and hobbies.
    as an adult 2 yrs is not short time because you see more into a person. although there is no security now with anything , like who knows what the relationship will be like in 20 -30 yrs , i think it takes interest of both parties for relationship to work. get to learn each others hobby, set time where you can enjoy things together.....

    i think people cheat if unhappy but once they found YOU and happy , learn things together and grow together, don't listen to anyone! and good luck!

    Answer by thecat3 at 7:30 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Well, I would be uncomfortatble dating someone who would cheat on his wife, and I would be very uncomfortable dating a man who didn't care what his daughter thought. I wouldn't date a married man under any circumstances. But, you are right, sometimes relationships that start under the worst of circumstances do last.....maybe because the two people belong together. Take that however you want. I wouldn't be as comfortable saying it to you that way if you didn't post anonymously, by the way.

    Answer by BJoan at 8:07 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • From personal experience I would have never even considered a relationship with my now hubby if my boys didn't like him. That was the deciding factor for me....
    And as for him cheating on his wife, I would worry that he would cheat on me. You know that old saying "once a cheater always a cheater".... I would keep an eye on him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Eventually, he will completely alienate his daughter and have no relationship with her and someday...he will regret it. He might even blame you. Two years is hardly a long relationship. Get to ten, see how he feels about his child and then get back with us.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:09 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

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