Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

drugs around a baby???

So I am about to have a baby with my fiance whom already has two kids. We were talking last night about how when i go back to work what daycare we would have for our daughter. He wants to bring the baby to his mom and sisters house and have them watch her for free. i DONT want this at all because they smoke cigarettes and weed and drink constantly at home and I dont want my baby around that. When I say that to him he gets mad because his other two kids went there everyday since they were babies and are "just fine" He says he truusts them. He thinks its because i hate his family. He also said he is not going to pay for daycare when we can get it for free. HELP this is a really big issue I dont even want her over there with him, how can I leave her alone with her own dad knowing he will bring her over there for them to baby-sit or even for a visit?

Answer Question
 
babybump3166

Asked by babybump3166 at 8:07 AM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would call social services and see if you can be put on the list for free or low cost licensed day care. If you can do that then you can tell him you have free/low cost care and that you will pay whatever the cost from your check. I would tell him the dangers and print out the dangers about having kids in that sort of environment. Tell him his older kids may have been ok and maybe his ex thought so too but shes his ex for a reason, and that you would hope he would give you the same respect to make decisions for your child you give him. I would also go into not wanting the baby to learn illegal activities, risk of cps being called etc. Just because its worked so far doesnt mean it always will. Its kinda like flipping a deck of cards eventually you will pull the joker. Its a matter of time.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:16 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • W/e, I would not allow my child to go there and if he doesn't like tough chit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Some who is drunk and stoned can't properly care for a baby.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:21 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I would'nt care what he liked,my child would not be over there in that mess for nothing,and if he thinks it is ok,and takes her over there,sorry,then he is not much of a father,his daughter welfare should come first,before his mom and sister.Sorry if this sounds harsh,but children are to special to be subjected to that crap. Good luck
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 8:23 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Stick to NO! I would never even think once about having my daughter around cig smoke. Don't make your daughter go thru something that she dhouldn't have too. My mom at times has problems with drinking, so if i am leaving my daughter with her i will plain out tell her if i find out she even has one glass of one, she is done seeing her unless I am there. I kicked my brother in law out of my house when he was living here because he smoked weed in my garage, which isn't connected directly to the house but when he walked in i could smell it on him.
    Stand up to your husband and say NO on this one :]
    Thestacys08

    Answer by Thestacys08 at 8:35 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Do not take your baby there.
    A friend of mine just lost his two children in a house fire because the "adults" in the house had passed out drunk and there were no smoke alarms and so no one was awake to get the children out. 4 Children died because of irresponsible adults.
    HayleyGM

    Answer by HayleyGM at 8:37 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • ask him if he is willing to pay for inhalers and nebulizers when his child gets severe asthma from inhaling smoke...or possible cancer from second hand smoke...it also can cause allergies and eye infections.
    princesspreggo

    Answer by princesspreggo at 8:49 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • This man would allow drug and alcohol use around his own children? He thinks that little of the welfare of his children? And you're going to marry him?

    Fine, if he "won't pay for" proper care, then I guess it's up to you to do it. I don't even know why you're questioning what you should do...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • My MIL is a heavy cigarette smoker- and her home- the floors- are always very dirty- where you cant walk around in white socks or they'll be grey and linty? My husband and I argued about going for visits, as she's the grandma and our only family in the area. His mom mustve caught on, because she only smokes in her computer room when we visit, and sweeps up the floors and vaccuums more often now.

    My advice would be to have your fiance talk w/his mom, have him explain your legitimate concerns, and see if you can have them compromise enough to put their habits away, or at least away from your child while he/she is in thier care.. good luck!!
    ZoeKatsMom

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 8:51 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I would check into the whole childcare thing where you get assistance. OR maybe throw the idea at him that you want to stay home with her yourself and keep kids. then you will get the best of both worlds. You get to raise your daughter and bring in some money. Its not the easiest thing to do, but it beats taking your daughter to a house where drugs are being done and for all you know delt also! Good luck its always hard mixing families!
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 9:03 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.