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is 40 going on 41 really a bad age for wanting a second child?

My son will be 7yrs old this summer but I want another child. I will be 41yrs in a few months but I am in great health, non smoker, very light social drinker that eat right with some exercise.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Health

Answers (72)
  • I myself think it is a lil old to be having babies, for the simple reason my sd was 55 or so when him and my mom married.....That being said, it was hard for me to do anything outside of school or extra activities. B/c my sd was so old he didn't feel like putting up with a bunch of my friends over, Or going to basketball games, ect. Just think do you really want your kid to be 20 when you are 61? That is quiet a age difference. And will most likely, have to go through raising a family of there own w/o you. I don't mean to be mean to ya. Just saying my dad is 78 and hardly has anything to do with my kids, he just can't stand them for long periods of time. How will your kid feel about that? but that is just my opinion. You should do what makes you happy, not me by any means. I know some are going to be mad cause I posted this but it is JMHO!

    Answer by lovinmomto3 at 9:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I don't think it's bad. I have heard, not sure if it's fact, that women over the age of 40 carry a higher risk of bearing a child with down syndrome. You should talk to your doctor about the risks. If he says it's not a good idea, consider adopting a child.

    Answer by sidzwif at 9:59 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • It just depends on the circumstances. Some women are having babies at an older age these days. I personally am 44 and have two grandchildren, so I would dread the fact of having another baby.. but it is your life and your decicisions. Have you given this a lot of thought? I would wait about 4 mos or so, make sure you go out into the malls and grocery stores and notice all the young children.. so if you still want them after spending time around them. Good luck with your decisions.

    Answer by pupmom at 10:03 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Momma you follow your heart...I am 41 and thinking getting pregnant this summer.
    Talk to your doctor let her know your intentions and listen to her advice.
    My mother is 77 and takes care of my daughter 4 everyday. You can do anything you want to as long as you want it.
    So you are 62ish when your child is 20. When my daughter is 20, I will be 57...and I can bet yeah I will be a kicking 57 year old mom...follow your heart...people on here do not know you...only you know yourself.

    Answer by Dannee at 10:05 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • i have an aunt that had a baby at 50. he's completly healthy. I think you'll be fine. Your doctor will just want to keep a closer eye on you and the lil one. Good luck mama!

    Answer by russian-mommy at 10:09 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • You need to look at the risks.Women in their 30 and 40 have a higher risk of complications.

    So if  you and your DH/SO, want to do it (get pregnant). Go right ahead. I have know problem with it.


    Answer by louise2 at 10:10 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Not at all for some, and for others..definitely.

    If you are ready and prepared to take on having a new baby at that age then go for it. Commit to yourself and your new child not to poop out in a few years because you feel too "old" to do certain things. You'll be close to 60 when your child graduates high school. You will most likely be the old mom and dad. A lot of women your age are still having children though so it's not like it's completely uncommon.

    For ME, that's too old. At 41 I will be close to having all my children out of high school. That will finally be me and hubs time...if all works out according to plan.

    Answer by munch12502 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I agree :"follow your heart". I am 45 with 3 grandsons; however, 2 years ago my husband and I split and I have found the guy I feel like I have looked for all my life. We love each other very much and want that love to continue in a child of our own. We do realize there are risks involved but feel the birth of our own child would mean so much to the both of us. Do what you feel is right for you. I read an article that said more and more women over 40 are having babies today. Let's remember how far technology has advanced. Drs can keep such close eyes on the development of a baby now where years ago they couldn't. I am 45 but in my mind that's just a number. My kids tell me I don't act like I'm 45 so I fully believe if we do have a baby I would not have a problem going to those school functions I was so used to going to with my children. In fact I actually miss all those times. Good Luck!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • see my son will be 7yrs this summer so I started a little later than usual anyway because I did the corporate work world first and starting a family second. I just feel like my son is out of the baby- cutesy stage and I would love to put my all into another child of my own not an adopted one. I am a very dedicated mom in everyway, work took a backseat once I had my son. We are a happy family but our son often talks about having a sibling and I feel awful since I am one of five. I am a very young and vivacious 40yr old, that I need to tell you my age and show proof because it does not show. My mom just turned 75 and is by no means a feeble old lady she took care of my son while we went out to work and is involved in his life.

    Answer by sexymommyrb at 10:21 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Do what you want ;) I see no problem with Women in their 40's having a child. It's reproductive rights and everyone has them.

    Answer by celticreverie at 10:31 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

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