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I have a friend getting obsessive over me...

She is in the hospital again for her MS symptoms acting up...again. Conveniently, she always gets sick about 2 weeks before she is scheduled to start working again...and the doc can never seem to find something wrong. Okay, maybe this is one of those mystery diagnosis things. Who knows. I know she LOVES attention and will do anything to get it. Lately she has been calling me beautiful and sexy and its quite frankly making me uncomfortable. She calls me nonstop from different numbers and gets upset when I dont get back to her right away. shes been a reliable friend I have always been able to fall back on her...but its getting weird. how do I tell her nicely to stop stalking me and calling me beautiful and sexy? I thought she would get off my back for a while if we had a play date. We took our kids to the zoo this past weekend and spent the whole day together... It seems to have gotten worse since then.

 
LovinEveryDay

Asked by LovinEveryDay at 11:49 AM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Obsessive people can be scary, no matter what their motivation. Have you tried talking to her about this? Told her that the way she's been acting makes you uncomfortable?

    I had a friend like this at one point in my life. I think she was just lonely - harmless, but she was VERY clingy. I tried to avoid her, instead of blowing her off... I didn't want to make her feel bad, but I definitely needed my space! You sound like you don't want to let your friend down, and she sounds like maybe she needs help dealing with some issues. MS is a serious disease.. but faking symptoms for attention raises red flags in my mind! Maybe she's feeling neglected by the people in her life? There is always a reason why people do the things they do.

    Try talking to her, if you have the sort of relationship that would allow you to do that. Otherwise.. yeah.. just avoid her. Most clingy people will get the hint eventually! Good luck! :)
    Sunni31

    Answer by Sunni31 at 12:41 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • i agree with jareda i would blow her off as well
    wendy232425

    Answer by wendy232425 at 12:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I dont want to scare you, BUT i saw a movie on lifetime, where a pregnant woman was stalked by a woman who was doing the same thigns ur friend is doing and she was also always in the hospital while the doctors couldnt find anything wrong, then the lady killed the pregnant woman, took the baby, and told everyone that the reason she had been so "sick" was die to pregnancy and the doctors had never thought to check.
    but of course, this would never work in "real life"
    I would blow this woman off, be careful honey!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • i would just be honest by emailing her or just telling her straight to her face. i would also say that if she didn't stop you would have to get a straining order.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Oh, god Anon! If we lived our lives by lifetime movies we'd all be too scared to leave the house. That's like living your life based on romance novels. If I was OP, I'd just say straight up, "I'm under a lot of strain with the pregnancy and managing my kids and don't have the energy to keep up with all my friendships. Please stop getting upset with me for not returning every call. It is inconsiderate and rude."
    Hartless

    Answer by Hartless at 1:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • MS (and other autoimmune) symptoms can be triggered by stress. Is her job high stress or is there a reason that going back there would cause her anxiety? Try being a friend and not being so judgmental...I am sure your attitude doesnt help her stress level. Unless you have one of these diseases, you have no idea how terrible it can become on a moments notice without warning for a variety of reasons.
    NorahSethsMommy

    Answer by NorahSethsMommy at 1:31 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Blowing her off is likely to make this worse. How about being an adult and speak to her about this by saying "Ive been really busy and under a lot of stress. How about I call you later?" At least be willing to talk to her about it. She might not even know shes being possessive.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:59 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I have told her that momofsaee and I have been REALLY supportive of her and her disease. I have tried to learn about it and help her out. Her job is not stressful. This has been ongoing for a year and a half and I am getting annoyed with it. Like I said I am just looking for a NICE way of saying dont be so obsessive and weird. I have never blown her off. I text her all of the time and go places with her and invite her places....just sometimes I need to chill and take a day off from her so I turn off my phone or ignore the calls and get back to her later. Maybe ask questions before you jump the gun assuming I havent been a friend to her.....
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 2:43 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • have you ever heard of munchuasin (spelling) sounds like she may have a case of this yes the ms may be real but the getting sick and drs finding nothing sounds like shes doing it for attenion, i would tell her straight out you consider her a good friend and you are sure she is just joking when calling you theses names, that way she wont end up feeling weird around you later but tell her it makes you uncomfortable and you are starting to feel weird about it
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:37 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

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