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My toddler wont stop hitting and getting frustrated

I have a 2 yr old son and he gets easily frustrated. Now i know that this is to be expected of a 2 year old but I don't know what to do to help him. When he gets like this he throws what ever he has in his hand or can find and he also hits me, the wall, the table what ever is closest to him. I try have been trying to keep him on a schedule including eating times and naps (if he takes one). I know he still needs them as he gets so cranky but he refuses to at the moment. We have tried time out, ignoring him, spanking (even though I hate it). I just don't know what to do to get him to calm down. I hate him hitting me and want him to know that it is not acceptable. I am really unsure of how to handle him. Is this just a normal toddler behaviour and I am looking into it more than necessary. My husband thinks it is not a problem yet. Please any suggestions are appreciated.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • Time out is best b/c it pulls him away from the situation. Have you tried working on him being more vocal. When he gets mad ask him to yell "I'M MAD!!" and maybe give him a toy he can hit sorta like a punching bag? It helps for him to be able to express himself both in words and physically. It'll take time to get him there.

    Or when he gets mad, have him run. Have a certain path he can run to get that energy out.

    And yes it's normal behavior. They don'tknow how to exrpess themselves properly just yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I am a very firm believer that you can't teach someone NOT to hit, BY hitting. It's like screaming at your child not to yell. My son is 22 months and has a tendency to hit, I take his hands, say no and redirect. He'll get it, it just takes a while. I think I had to tell my daughter not to go in the garbage about 87 times before she got it.

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:19 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • we must try to understand the constant fustration our toddlers endure every day. (i have a 21 month old) they understand more and more of what we say, and what we expect of them each day. and they also learn how to communicate w/ us better each day. but there is still ahuge gap. with my daughter i let her have her anger. as long as she is not hurting anyone or destroying things. we must teach them its ok to have feel this way, and its ok to express it. as they grow we can regulate how they express these feelings. for now its all they know how to do. the only tool they have to work with. afterwards i hold my daughter and tell her im sorry shes upset and i dont understand. i explain to her that im not mad and now that shes calm can she try again to tell me what the problem is?
    i want her to grow up knowing the best tool for all of us to use is open communication. i hope this helped. but its just my opinion.

    Answer by TARA26 at 1:58 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • You said you spank him. Evidently it doesn't hurt or he wouldn't be acting like that.

    Answer by Princess1217 at 3:46 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • you can tell when he is going to "blow" that's when you correct the problem right there and then. You know that signs on what to look for when he is going to "blow" that when you say something to him about his behaveior . Youy can have a "KEY word" that only you and him know that will help him help to him to channel he anger or rage that he has build up inside. or tel him to talk to you about what is he feeling at the time.With the "key word" that can be his thing to go take a time out or a breather. That "key word" can be "brown shoe"," now" he will be able to go in the asign place and breathe.

    Answer by monalisa138 at 4:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

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