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How do heal after an affair has been discovered?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Decide if the relationship is worth saving, if not move on, if it is then get some counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • You don't. Decide whether or not you will accept it. If you can't accept it but can't leave, plan so you can leave later on.
    It will always hurt, If he genuinely changes he will have to earn your trust back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Let him go. My dh has done this....3 times. Every time being "so sorry" and crying and all that bullshit. They don't change. Cut your losses now. No use in wasting any more years on some asshole.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I once heard that " Forgivness isn't a gift you give to others, but a gift you give yourself."
    12crazykids

    Answer by 12crazykids at 2:38 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • If you want to save the marriage, then go to some councelling to try but you've both got to be willing to work on whatever problems are going on. You didn't say if you or he was the one discovered having the affair but good luck to you both. People can change if they want to but both have got to work hard to save the relationship.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:42 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I think that it depends on the degree of the affair...was it a one night stand or a 6 month long affair. It also depends on hwhat you are willing to endure and whether or not you think the marriage is worth saving. Is he one of those guys who is going to do it over and over again? You know him better than we do. Deep down, you probably already have your answer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • My boyfriend has been cheating on me since we started dating a year ago. He was my best friend for 5 years prior. He asked me to marry him and the next day (after I said yes) i found him texting another girl asking when they were going to "get busy" again. I loved him and decided we could try to be together. Now that I'm pregnant it's another story. I won't let him break my babys heart like he broke mine and I won't let his negative habits be something my baby can view. So You gotta do what right for you and your child if you have one. But put yourself first.... I say theres NO excuse for cheating. If you love someone nothing will stop you from being good to them and if they arent good to you they don't REALLY love you. Even if they THINK they do.
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 4:40 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I least you have discovered it already and it is up to you to do the next stop.

    My one I am still trying to figure it out he always says he will never do that to me but I am not really sure so i kind of driving me crazy.
    MisV

    Answer by MisV at 11:02 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

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