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Why do some people think that love takes WORK and others think it should just happen and be there? I am in the second group by the way. My Hubby and I are now and have always been blissfully happy, NO work needed it's been amazing from the start.

 
happyathomemum

Asked by happyathomemum at 2:50 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • i think it's all frame of mind. we have gone into our relationship just knowing that we would be happy and work everything out by talking and being open. which we have and i never have any problems telling him how i feel. neither does he. he hurts my feelings sometimes but i'm a big girl and can get over it. i don't expect everything to be easy but i know that the love is truly there.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I don't know if its LOVE that takes work-but the actual relationship does. For many, it just seems like too much work. Or that one feels like that they try harder than the other.

    I think that relationships and marriages take work.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 2:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I honestly have no good answer for that. But I am curious myself. My SO and I are in the second category. We seem to be working constantly to keep ourselves from falling apart.
    D_mom05

    Answer by D_mom05 at 2:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Me and my husband are in love-love each other very much. But when I do something wrong or he does, its important to fix it. I think that we have grown a lot since getting married. And that took work and effort on both our parts.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 2:55 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I agree with Jenn....
    the love does not take work....but the relationship may need some work...
    no one is perfect...and there is always room for improvement.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:58 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Our love comes naturally. We are like JennRN. We fix our problems quickly so that they don't escalate to create huge, needs repair, issues. Love is just easy for us. We actually have friends that tell us that we make marriage look easy.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 2:58 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I think in the beginning of a relationship love just happens, then as time goes on, the relationship may take work. I've been married for 15 years almost. The first 10 years were great and really didn't need "work." After that things got difficult and we have to work harder on our relationship. When things get difficult sometimes it's hard to see where the love is or if it was ever there. But when you work on it you can discover that love is still there, but sometimes you don't recognize it or you take it for granted. I have no idea if that made any sense, but that's my experience. So I guess it can be both.

    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 3:01 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Our friends tell us the same thing Mom1 Stepmom1. I agree that SOMETIMES marriage can take SOME work but my hubby and I are SO much alike we very rarely if ever have ANY problems in our relationship. We have NOTHING but complete respect and admiration for eachother.
    happyathomemum

    Answer by happyathomemum at 3:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I just wish that I had his sex drive...hehehe
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 3:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Some marriages are easy because you don't have problems with each other but when problems arise, it does take work to get thru the problems. It's not easy to forgive sometimes and it doesn't have to be abuse/cheating it can be simply getting your feelings hurt, or him breaking your favorite mug while he was mad about something someone else said or did to him etc. Takes work to learn how to communicate properly, to change things about yourself that cause problems for the other half of the couple. Most people aren't mirror images of each other's personality so yea, for us it does take work sometimes unfortunately.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2009