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my friends husband

One of my friends husbands is being a total jerk to her and she calls me crying all the time. She is pregnant and has 2 kids under the age of 5. She is having a really hard time deciding what is the right thing to do because her husband threatens her and says it does not matter if she leaves because he can do it better by himself. She does not work or make any money and they rent a house so she is afraid that she can't do it by herself.She cant change the locks since she rents and he refuses to move out but she has no where to go. She wants to let him know that he can not keep doing this to her but is not sure how to go about doing that? PLEASE help me come up with a way to let my friend know that she is strong enough to leave or make him leave. What advice would you give her? She is even thinking about calling the police due to a threat he made... PLEASE HELP ME GIVE HER SOME ADVICE!! Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • let her stay with you. she is ur friend after all. things will work themselves out in that fashion.
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 3:23 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • i agree... can she stay with you? she needs to get out of there before its gets violent
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:25 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Uh, does your friend have family near her? If not can she stay with you temporarily, well if you have your own place.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 3:31 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • why would see kick him out if she can't pay for the rent. i would moved back home and put a restraining order on him and get assistance from the state of she has no family then as a friend how could you not offer to take her in?
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:46 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • i agree is there any way you can offer her a place to stay? threats are just a step away from it becoming physical and what many ppl dont know is threating someone is considered assualt he can be arrested for it assuming he has the means to carry out the threat right away and she is in fear of her life, and if she has him arrested she can get a restraining order and a no contact order and even f she rents she can change the locks she just needs to give the landlord a new key, i would suggest that she um as bad as this sounds clean out any joint bank accounts they have before she kicks him out or if it comes to having him arrest the minute the police take him go clean out those accounts so she has some money and then apply for state aide
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:56 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • where is her parents, brothers and sisters? doesnt she have any family that will take her in until she gets herself together? why cant she stay with u till she gets things together? maybe calling the cops is a good thing but they wont give her a place to go. and they may not arrest her husband. tough situation... hope she gets help soon!
    GabrielsMommy16

    Answer by GabrielsMommy16 at 4:16 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • the police wont do anything about a "threat". people make them against each other all the time.

    if it's that bad, she may have to go to a women's shelter until she can figure out where to go or what to do.
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 4:34 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • the pp said the cops wont do nothing about a threat, well threats are one thing but if he ever even so much as lays a finger on her she is prego and that is a FELONY! and they will place a automatic restaining order on him. if she is really serious then she needs to go to the cops now to get her own no contact order agaisnts him and file the threats.
    sarahdicksonjr

    Answer by sarahdicksonjr at 4:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Please give her this number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233). You can call this number too and they will give you ideas of how you can best help your friend. She needs to call a women's shelter and work out an "escape plan" with them. They will help her plan how to leave safely, where to go, and how to take care of all of the details so that she is safe and protected. I'm so thankful that she has you.
    evwsquared

    Answer by evwsquared at 5:04 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • help her not to buy into thinking she has no say and no control. she and her baby do not need the stress. i was in an abusive relationship for a long time more than i needed to be while i kept waiting for the guy to move out. i even went as far as to start dating someone else and bring him over. i ended up breaking my lease to a very understanding landlord and moved into a place by myself once i realized i had a choice, even if it is a hard one. she can't make him do anything unless there is some violence and legality. so help her to find her options.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

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