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How do you successfully make an instant family work?

i am having trouble dealing with my boyfriend, my son's dad, as we never dated before our son was born. he came to arizona and met him when he was 2 months old, and asked us to all be a family so i moved to southern california and now we are sleep deprived with an 8 month old and trying to learn about each other and make a relationship work at the same time. im so stressed!!

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connorsmommy418

Asked by connorsmommy418 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • It's certainly going to take time to adjust for all of you. I would suggest at least one night a week you have a date night if you can and DO NOT talk about the baby. There is so much to learn about another person and it is harder when you are an instant family. Try not to get too stressed because as your baby starts sleeping more you won't be so sleep deprived and things will look better. :)
    candygirl1030

    Answer by candygirl1030 at 3:26 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • this is happening to me!!! Just last year it was me and DD. We had our schedule and little calm life. Then I met a nice man this year and started dating him. Bam, I'm pregnant, he moves in...now it is 3 going on 4!!! Not to mention my daughter and I adopted a puppy right before I met my BF so really, I live in a house of 5 where once there were only 2. It is hard at times...very hard. But there are definltley perks and benefits. I think now I am finally starting to adjust and get comfortabe with the new life I have. Baby is due in March so that is going to be interesting, too ;)
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 3:39 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • well a new baby is a big adjustment for new parents who know each other, and it's going to be harder when you are trying to get to know each other too. things have a funny way of working out and its good to hear that you are willing to try to make this family work, my biggest advice would be you both need to make the commitment to make things work and through any problems you may come across if you can make that commitment then you are on the right road
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:50 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • All you need is love, love , love
    Princess1217

    Answer by Princess1217 at 3:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • you know, it's like they used to do it in the old days kinda... just be strong. cultivate your relationship when you can. pick your battles. have conversations about expectations and goals. be respectful of each other as people: your differences, your feelings, your needs for space. if you truly want this family to work, then act like the family you want it to be. you are two people trying to be happy and trying to make a good family. just keep that in mind as your compass.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:05 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

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