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Wedding guest list.........who do we include?

My daughter is getting married and I'm not sure how you decide who to include on the guest list. There are the obvious invitees, family and close friends, but then there are those who are in a "gray" area.

Over the last few years we've been disappointed at being left off a guest list but also wondered at times why we were included. Is it safer to err one way or the other?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Entertainment

Answers (9)
  • I'd look at the budget first. Invite who you're able to afford. I would go with close family and friends and anyone else that you talk to and consider somewhat close. I have friends I only talk to on a yearly basis but I'd still invite them.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 4:32 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • The budget and final count total is a definite thing to consider. The bride and groom should have the final say, and in some cases, their wishes should probably outweigh the parent's wishes - on both sides. I am struggling with this very thing with one daughter. As the bride's parents, we are not able to pay for much of anything, so this is another issue to consider. In our case, the immediate family members (mom/dad, siblings - none of which are married, mom & dad's siblings and their families, grandparents) and the bride and groom's friends are already at the 200 people mark!

    Answer by PSMother at 4:43 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • My issue is to invite extended family on our side who live close enof to be able to attend. They have watched her grow up, been interested in and actively supported her in her adventures of missions trips, etc, of which she could never have attended if financially dependant upon us. I feel to not invite them is a mistake, but that makes the count closer to 250. They are both involved in many things: college, church, group leaders at church, work... And it's their wedding... And they feel they should be able to invite who they want... So.... Since we cannot give them their wedding, and the groom's parents have offered to help pay for the reception food, our hands are a bit tied.

    Answer by PSMother at 4:45 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I feel that certain key people who have been involved in their lives, like our friends and extended family members, should definitely be there. Especially since they are inviting all these friends. They have actually limited the friends that they want to invite, but "my" added list is making the waves with this issue. We are not intending to invite our co-workers. Some parents feel they must be invited. I think the biggest issue to start with is how much you can afford to pay, then go from there.

    Answer by PSMother at 4:49 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • We are fortunate in that budget is not an issue. And space is not an issue since it is an outdoor wedding. Our daughter has been away from our hometown for five years, she had friends and families that she was close to but whom we've not really kept in touch. And, we've made friends since she was gone that our daughter barely knows.

    Do you just invite everyone? I just don't want people feeling it strange they were invited and then feeling obligated to send a gift.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • With budget and space not being an issue, I think I would start with a guest list from both your daughter and future son-in-law. They can include the friends that they feel are important to them. And if some of those people she used to know are important to her for any reason, include them. Then add your family and the groom's family. I would probably not include those friends that you've made since she was gone (since she doesn't know them) unless they are extremely important to you and you want them to join you in celebrating her wedding. Same with the groom's parents. Some people feel a particular need to include certain people. Let your daughter and her fiance have the final say.

    Answer by PSMother at 9:34 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • It depends on budget and whether you want a big wedding or a small one with just family and close friends...we had our mothers and siblings and closest friends. it ended up being 25 guests all together, so we had an outdoor ceremony at a friend's that had a lot of land, and served veggie trays, as well as cake

    Answer by sophiebethmom at 10:42 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I got married in April and my husband made a list and I made a list. We went to our parents to see if we were missing anyone important. If so we added them. However, my in laws (god love them) were inviting family members that we never see or talk to up to 2 wks before the wedding. Keep in mind that it is their day and worrying about afffending someone is not what it is all about. I would go with your gut instinct and congrats.

    Answer by TrevHuntersMom at 10:24 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • It's Your Daughter's Wedding, It's Her Choice.

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 5:45 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

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