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how do i allow myself to be cared for and loved without freaking out?

I have been dating my boyfriend 4 about 4 months now and he has already say that he had falling in Love with me, i believe him But! yet again i have my doubts, the funny thing is that i feel tha same for him but! i am scared that it will end soona then expected because this is my first true love, and my first REAL relationship sence my son's birth(2years ago) i WANT this relationship to work but! i am scared about the whole thing, i know i want him but! itz all new to me and he treats me like a queen and he loves my son and he has already told me he wants 2 marry me and b a family!!!!

oh gosh i need help wat should i do stick it out and just enjoy the happy times or should i just end it to avoid getting hurt?????

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red-alert86

Asked by red-alert86 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If he really seems sincere and has not done anything to make you doubt it and you really like him, go along with it. It would be great for you to have someone in your life that really cares for you and your son the way you say he does. You can't tell for sure yet but if you do not give it a chance you will always be lonely.
    Katieasmom

    Answer by Katieasmom at 4:49 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • R U SERIOUS??? U want to run away from a guy who loves you and your baby even when you might feel the same way? You owe it to yourself and your baby to find out if this will be the best thing ever! Hurt is part of the human process but don't avoid your life because you may get hurt. That is like saying why drive I might get in a wreck! ENJOY THE LOVE, this might be the best thing that ever happened!
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 4:52 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Stay in the moment and release your expectations. If you are too busy worrying about the future, you're missing out on some magical moments as they happen. There are never any guarantees in any relationship, save one: if you don't take the chance then there is a 0% chance it will work. Even 1% is better. Your anxiety is normal. Instead of worrying about what ifs, just pay close attention to what is really happening. Sounds wonderful. Do you think you could open up about your fears to this guy? The answer should tell you alot about how to proceed.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • THAT ABSOLUTELY NORMAL- I BET YOU ALSO HAD SOME ISSUES GROWING UP TOO??
    WHY NOT GET SOME COUNSELING- YOU DONT HAVE TO BE CRAZY- TO WORK OUT YOUR FEELINGS WITH A PROFESSIONAL- THATS WHAT THEY'RE THERE FOR- AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO BRING HIM ALONG TOO- IF HE IS MR. RIGHT CHANCES ARE HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT HE'S GETTING INTO - LOVING A PERSON WHO'S SCARED TO BE LOVE ISNT THE EASIEST THING- BUT CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED! GOOD LUCK!!
    KITTYLITTLES

    Answer by KITTYLITTLES at 5:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • who says you will get hurt? if you do so what wouldn't it be better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all. your setting yourself up. go with the flow.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:19 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Stick it out and enjoy those happy times girl. We as mothers don't get alot of it so enjoy your time however do keep your guard up in a way thats not noticable but do keep that happiness
    MrsTGray

    Answer by MrsTGray at 5:30 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Best advice I can give you is "keep your mouth shut for now"; lemme explain. I went through the same thing. 1. Scared to death that my past relationship screw-ups would cause me to screw this one up. 2. Scared to death that 'one day soon' this wonderful stranger would become "REAL" (I expected all men to act and treat me like my ex did - eventually. SO I was always waiting for the shoe to drop). 3. I was scared to death that I would wind up punishing him for the mistakes of the ex . 4. I couldn't trust my own emotions... I needed time to assess this person, watch him, watch me and baby-step my way into trusting him. Eventually, I did trust him, eventually I did form the words to tell him of my fears and worries, eventually I saw that he was who he said he was..there were no surprise personalities in the closet. Hold on sweet girl, sometimes we get so hurt from the past that we're afraid of the future...
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:27 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • ask him to slow down, explain you also have strong feelings but you need it to slow down a little bit
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 6:33 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I DEFINITLY THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR ADVISE AND I WILL TAKE IT ALL INTO CONSIDERATION!!!
    AND YOU KNOW WAT? YOU ARE ALL RITE!!! HOW WILL EVER KNOW WAT LOVE IS IF I DONT ALLOW MYSELF TO TRY?!!! AND I THINK I WILL GO FOR IT!!!! WISH ME LUCK CUZ I AM GONNA NEED IT!!!!
    red-alert86

    Answer by red-alert86 at 7:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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