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Step Father Questions

Your married and have a child with your Husband but you also have a child with your ex from a prior relationship. The relationship has been over for the past 10 years and only 4 years ago his child found out who he was.
When your filling out paperwork for school and they ask for father's information do you put in the step dad or the real father? Considering the real father comes around when he wants to but him and his child still have contact via cell phone.
I'm not sure if to put in the real father's info or the step father considering the step father is the primary care taker.
I'm lost.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • This is a tough one for me, I am technically the step parent of 2 of mine, except there is no involvement from thier bio-mom and there never has been, not for many many years. So it is always my info given, I am the primary caregiver (of course there dad is to but I am a SAHM).

    Gosh.....I would put the bio dad's info down and then in the emergency contact space put your husband. Maybe highlight it, I really want to say do it the other way, but since bio dad does have some involvemnent, even if it is small put himdown.


    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:17 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • Put down your husbands info and if the bio father wants to pick him up from school one day he will have to let you know the head of time and you'll have to okay it with the school. the bio father is involeved but not that much. I am the single mother of two children and I just put myself down and leave the father space blank, because I have sole custody.

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 10:44 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I put my husband's information because he is the main father figure to my son. For my step son who we have custody of I put myself and my husband then I put his mom as an emergency contact.

    Answer by Magpie75 at 12:44 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I am a step mom and my SO is my daughters step dad. Everyone is listed on their school papers. My SO is listed as alternate contact, and my ex is listed as the Bio dad, but I am sure to note and mark that he is NOT to have any say in her schooling and that he CANNOT pick her up from school. In fact, our paperwork has a page to list all who do have permission to pick up the children and he is specifically on it to NOT have permission. Also, we are very involved in our kids schools so the front office and the principal know exactly who we are and our situation so we don't have any problems. I would say, put them both down, but inform, inform, inform! Let everyone necessary know the situation, so you don't have to worry.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 2:07 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Step father cause I think they want contact info. I would however stick a note on w a paper clip or a note on the back w bio dad's info just so they know he is out there somewhere. also when you meet the teacher, school sec and principal let them know. I think this is more common than people realize.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:34 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • If stepdad is the primary put his info. You can always put biodad as a contact if you want or like someone else said, talk to the school. Personally, I never put bio info on anything and before we were married it was just my info. All the dad stuff was left blank.

    Answer by cheez1e at 10:15 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • When I was a step-mom, we put bio-mom as MOM and I was on the paperwork as "legal guardian". I went to my middle daughter's IEP meetings and was the contact person for all school-related stuff. The school knew that I was a second wife and the kids were not biologically mine (my son was only 13 years younger than me), but they also knew I was the strongest advocate in their lives at the moment and more involved than EITHER bio-parent.

    When we moved and were closer to my ex's ex and the girls mov ed back with their mom, I was still listed as a legal guardian since she (bio-mom) saw by that point that I only had the kids' best interests at heart and they were flowering with me in their lives.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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