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how do i get my fiance to want to have the child that we are expecting right now he wants me to have an abortion and i don't want to

we are 20 and i just don't know what to do

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stephlong1988

Asked by stephlong1988 at 9:57 PM on Jan. 14, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (12)
  • It is your body and your child... If you want to keep it... Please do.. if you want to stop a beating heart that is your call..GL
    emturner

    Answer by emturner at 9:58 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • For most things, I recommend that couples find a reasonable compromise. However, there is no compromise in the life of a child. Tell him no. If you don't feel ready to be a parent, then consider adoption. It's a loving thing to do. Good luck with whatever you decide!
    degsyuna

    Answer by degsyuna at 10:01 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I'd say abort the fiance.

    You know as well as I do that if he didn't want a baby he should have taken better precausions. Now he needs to choose if he wants to be a father and husband or a single man....because if you get an abortion just to keep a man even though you don't want one you will regret it the rest of your life....and you would deserve the guilt that comes along with that.

    How far along are you? He may just be in shock. He may just feel really scared and unsure about himself. Just reassure him that he'll do wonderful. But make sure he knows that you're a package deal...it's you and the baby or nothing at all.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 10:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • you cant make him WANT the baby, at that age he might just be scared but when the baby comes he MIGHT change his mind....MIGHT, if he doesnt are you prepared to care for this baby on your own? Many many women do and are just fine, it will be tough but it is worth it
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 10:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • It is up to you whether or not you have the child. You can't force him to want the baby. That is something that he will eventually have to accept if you choose to keep the baby.
    mushmouse

    Answer by mushmouse at 10:03 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • You can't make him want the baby. You need to make up your own mind and stick with that decision. No matter what you choose, your life will never be the same.
    Do you want an abortion? You might go on with life and be OK (never happy) with that decision. You might regret it for the rest of your life. You may have lots of kids one day. You may discover that you can never get pregnant again.
    Do you want to keep the baby? You will have hard times - every mom does. You will have good times - every mom does. Will you be able to manage if he leaves you? Do you have a support network of friends and family? If he doesn't leave but stays resentful, how will you handle it?

    Good luck with your decision. I wish you the best of luck and much happiness no matter what path you take.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 10:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • I agree with munch! Abort the fiance! Also when I was trying to convince my husband to have a fourth I told him that he could learn to love another child a lot easier than I could forget about that baby I wanted... it was the easier thing for our relationship. I imagine if you want this baby and allow him to pressure you into an abortion that your relationship won't last very long. It's not a good way to start a marriage in my opinion.
    naomianne2

    Answer by naomianne2 at 10:24 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • You cant make him want it. But you can get rid of the loser (fiance) and keep your child!!
    AlyssaH87

    Answer by AlyssaH87 at 10:30 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • well i know part of his reasoning now that he decided to talk about it he just told me that his father told him that if he had a kid before he was 25 that his dad would cut his d**k off. his father is a really big a**hole
    stephlong1988

    Answer by stephlong1988 at 10:54 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

  • this happened to me, he wanted me to have an abortion & i just couldn't he cried like a baby when i told him i was going to keep it. i told him he could go or stay but i was having the baby with or without him! he stayed, we got married but 5yrs later i have a BEAUTIFUL little girl but he's gone, GOOD RIDDANCE 2 HIM! be strong, it's scary but you can do it, this is YOUR baby & YOUR choice.btw i'm extremely happy w/the chioce i made. good luck!
    beachmom0703

    Answer by beachmom0703 at 10:59 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

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