Would this bother you enough to say something?

My 20 y/o son is living about 2 1/2 hrs away at his fiance's mom's home now. He's been there since just before the holidays & did spend Christmas Eve & Christmas w/ us, & was in town Jan 8th-9th. The following weekend, we invited him to my mom's for my B-day dinner, but he said he couldn't afford the gas to come. Yet he was planning on coming to town THIS weekend, before the snow delayed his plans. I have to admit my feelings are a little hurt that he couldn't come for my B-day, but is coming the following week, just because. We are planning a big 21st Bday bash for him, but he couldn't be bothered to do more than send a text on my actual Bday. :( Do your adult children act like this? Or am I being overly sensitive?

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Asked by mrsmom110 at 8:44 AM on Jan. 21, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

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You are not being overly sensitive. Kids can definitely hurt our feeling but give him consideration about his age. It is a very self absorbed age and sometimes, guys especially can not see past themselves. Hold out hope for years to come. Hopefully he will become a little more sensitive to those around him.

Answer by Melbornj at 8:47 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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He is a young man and think back to how you were then. I have 3 adult kids, young adults and they are just starting to build their lives, learn life lessons and all of that. In doing so my feelings have been trampled more then once. I would be bothered if they did not come see me on days I found special too. But I wouldn't dwell on it too much.

Answer by gemgem at 8:51 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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my son acts like this all of this time and it hurts but I realize he is what he is.

Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:52 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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Both--I feel the exact same way about my birthday. My younger son (41) doesn't ever remember my birthday which used to bother me alot but I try to not let it bother me anymore. So I agree 100% with you and I understand exactly how you feel.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Answer by meooma at 8:52 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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I think you have to wait until they're 25 to really consider them "adult". Happy Birthday.

Answer by Farrahann at 8:56 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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I would be hurt too, but I would let them know how hurt......mine go over board on my Birthday, they are 24, 34, and 33, they won't let me forget it although I really would love to!!lol!

Answer by older at 8:57 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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You are not being overly sensitive but is it possible that the weekend of your birthday he didn't have the money yet the next weekend he was going to have it? Like maybe he got paid then?

Answer by JLS2388 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
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Thanks for the B-day wishes ladies & the reassurance. :) Sometimes mothering a grown child is harder than when they were toddlers!

as to the "maybe he got paid" theory, no- he's in between jobs at the moment & gas prices are still high. He said everything was fine - so unless he has some other reason, not sure why he's even coming to town now, vs. when it was for a good reason :/

Comment by mrsmom110 (original poster) at 11:06 AM on Jan. 21, 2012
Credits: 53986 Level 32 Adult Children (18+) 101
At least when they were little we got handwritten cards,huh? Hang in there Mom. Your not alone.

Answer by lillie70 at 6:30 PM on Jan. 21, 2012
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I'm sorry! Happy Birthday.

Have you ever talked to him about it? I'd say something I think. Just something along the lines of, "Hey you little shit, I gave birth to you, I created that body you walk around in every day and I raised you. Is a card and an evening too much to ask in return, once a year?" Lol

Answer by JackieGirl007 at 3:13 AM on Jan. 24, 2012
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