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5 yr old, doesn't want to behave in school

smart kid, doesn't want to behave in school. Not disrespectful, does little things that drives the teachers nuts. Playing in the coats, likes to talk, very social, wants to help other classmates, show offs, tried to get the last word. Show off, class clown, very curious. I know what he is doing is harmless but it can be disruptive to the class and I have tried everything... its his personality, his genetic make-up, he is a happy go lucky person. He has good intentions but his intentions seem to get him into trouble. The teacher said he is loud, (guilty) I am loud and talkative. I am confused, I don't want him to keep getting into trouble but I don't know what to do.

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Asked by websavvy at 1:00 AM on Jan. 15, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (12)
  • I think you and the teacher might benefit from meeting and trying to come up with ways to channel his good intentions into positive behavior. She should already be doing that. Give him "busy" tasks like "hey joey can you help me pass out the papers," etc...

    Also doing "heavy tasks" helps children with sensory issues, for example my daugher is a seeker and is loud, in everyone's face, to get her channeled we use a a weight belt. For your son the teacher could have him take the chairs down in the morning, carry some heavy books for her. It will help channel some of the behavior and he feels helpful. Not saying your son has sensory issues, but he might benefit from some of the same things. I got my idea from a book called "out of sync child," for sensory processing disorder.


    Answer by J9Mommy at 1:20 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Continued...My son who has Asperger syndrome, ADHD and sensory also benefited from being "teachers helper" so to speak. He had trouble focusing and staying on task. His teachers embraced him wanting to help students, so hopefully your son's teacher is like that as well.

    Not sure if I helped, but hope so. Your son sounds like fun loving guy :)

    PS..make sure the teacher is not starting to single out your son and label him as bad. Keep and open line and work with her on the best way to get him to use his positive aspects in a proactive way.


    Answer by J9Mommy at 1:22 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Yeah, she has her days and I try to explain his intentions and what he is doing. Problem is she has 2-3 other children that may have autism or ADHD they have not been diagnosed because the parents won't let the school evaluate them. It is clear that they do have some type of problem because I sat in the class and I was like WOW! Well, my son is adding to her frustrations and I can understand. She is overworked, travels a distance to work, has twins and the classroom is too crowded. Its a mess, but I don't want my child to suffer. Thank goodness I am a SAHM, just making it. I work with her, work with him. I just don't want the poor kid to fall victim, well, he won't as long as I can help it. That is why I came here.


    Answer by websavvy at 1:32 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Good for you, I think the fact you are already invovled and even sat in on the class, that is awesome.

    Yeah I agree about the other kids,there was this boy in my son's class who I swear also had a type of autism and I became friends with the parents and they are in such denial.

    Ok anyway have you thought about homeschool if the whole school system there is a mess ? I mean that is what I had to do when I realized my son was going to fall through the cracks, even with his IEP for autism. It was a year of meetings, sitting in on class etc.

    Or if you want him to stay in public school what about discussing with the principal if it's possible for your son to try a different class. Sounds like the teacher is at her limit and the school is not providing appropriate education for any of these kids in there.

    Hang in there sounds like you are doing all the right thing and are such a caring mom. Wish I could help more :(

    Answer by J9Mommy at 2:43 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • One more thing....Does she have classmoms who come in ? Maybe you can get something going where moms come in and help 1-2 hours a week. I know my son's old school allowed that.

    Ok sorry if all my ideas are lame here...Hahaha...It just sounds like at this point you have done what you should, it's the school who should be brainstorming.

    Really though if you ever decide to go the homeschool route, let me know. I can help. It was the best decision ever for my son. His autism is better, and he is even doing advanced work.

    Answer by J9Mommy at 2:49 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Is he bored??? Bryce is very smart and typically a good kid but when he gets bored he does a lot of what you are talking about. I would talk to him first then talk to the teacher. Maybe you can do some supplemental teaching???

    Answer by anetrnlov at 6:01 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I thought about home schooling but he is such a little social butterfly. Academically he is fine, almost advanced. We sit and do work together everyday. I fell through the cracks as a child because of my hyper activity and molestation. I was stressed out as a child and at a very young age. Don't feel sorry for me, I'm fine.

    Answer by websavvy at 6:34 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • CONT: I know first hand what the schools system is capable of. They want to classify you, medicate you then store you in a special ed class that you can never seem to get out of. My MOM didn't like the drugs so she took me off, but I look back today and I have to laugh because she should have been the one taking the drugs. LOL! I surpassed all that nonsense and achieved my dreams and my goals. I refuse to let my son fall victim to this educational system. I just needed some information on how to move forward. Tomorrow I am going to set the wheels turning, change teachers and that's a start. I will keep working with him until we see results. He is a good boy, we just have to learn how to channel his energy. Thank you so much!

    Answer by websavvy at 6:35 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Honestly, I think he is bored. If he is bored he gets antsy. I keep him busy at home, I have no problems. He plays wii legos (great game not violent) if they have a battle, the lego pieces just fall apart- no blood shed. Then he may play with the Disney Cars game on the wii. Then I purchased a used laptop off of ebay, I put education games on it for him. He'll do that for awhile. Then we sit together and I'll find some educational work: math, subtraction, adding, reading writing stuff. I don't want him to become too advance, then I will have more problems. I try to keep him slightly advance, if not, he will be telling the teacher what to do LOL. Then I let him and the dog play around, running and screaming. Then will do some chores, go shopping or something. I get it because I have been there. I wish I had a book of instructions, press a to do this b to do this LOL LOL

    Answer by websavvy at 6:45 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Boredom is what it sounds like to me. The problem you may run into is if he is bored b/c he's advanced, changing classes may not solve the problem. If it continues, you may want to ask the school about testing for giftedness, see if he can be put in an advanced class or something so that he won't be so bored. Both of my kids have the same problem, but they both fall just shy of giftedness, so they're stuck in regular classes. Add ADHD to that, and it's a daily struggle. I totally understand how you feel.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:17 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

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