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He spanked me so hard..

It brought tears to my eyes and stung for about 15-20 minutes afterwards, I bit back the tears, just a mix of physical pain and confusion...why did he hit me so hard! We were just playing around in the kitchen, clothes on..we've only been seeing each other a short time, he's brand new to me and I am just getting to know him..he was using my iPad and started looking through my pics, he claims he's not the jealous type but when he came across one of me and my x, he said "Oh that's nice, you're licking his ear...wonder what you'd do if you saw a pic like that of me and some girl" ..he was laughing as if he were teasing me and pretending to be jealous when he wasn't..started wrestling around gently and said "come here you're getting a spanking", I tried to run away..giggling..and he grabbed me and told me to lay over his knee, I said no three times..mind you we are laughing the whole time, and finally I layed over his knee just for fun and he whacked me hard! He saw the tears in my eyes and rather than expressing empathy and apologizing when he realized I was hurt he started teasing me about what a girl I am and asked to see if there was a handprint, like he thought I was making too much of it, maybe he was in a state of suspended disbelief or something because we were having fun and then all of a sudden we weren't. He promised to never ever do that again and did apologize a little bit later..do you think there's a chance he just didn't know his own strength? I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because everything else I've seen has shown me he is a gentle kind hearted softie..a really loving good man, but as I write this out I'm thinking this just isn't good at all, is it? Any input you lovely ladies have would be much appreciated.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2012 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • i too think it is a red flag
    i do NOT think it is him not knowing his own strength - not at all
    a grown man KNOWS his own strength
    he may be into S&M ???
    i would have a very serious talk with him
    AND
    i have watch every little thing for a while, no excusing things that just do not fit
    this should be a wake up call for ANYTHING that does not seem to fit into your normal range
    we humans (especially women) tend to place odd actions of tohers into a catagory that we are ok with - human nature
    but do not do this, be on your guard for anything else
    you said this is a new relationship- he COULD be not telling you all he is about

    that fact that he KNEW you were hurt and did not say sorry immediately- is the hard part for me to place in a normal range
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:07 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • HUGE RED FLAG

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:15 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • This could be a red flag but it could be as you said he just doesn't know his strength. I would sit down with him and be firm that if he ever lays a hand on you again, not only will the relationship be over but you will go to the police and press charges
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:47 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • Holy crap....that is creepy. Red flag, don't ignore it.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • He saw the tears in my eyes
    and then
    He asked to see if there was a handprint


     


    RED FLAG - these are not the actions of a "gentle kind hearted softie..a really loving good man"

    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:14 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • If you forgive him this early in the relationship god knows what he'll do next it starts with a playful spanking and then turns into a black eye or a broken arm I know I've been there please don't dismiss this dismiss him!!
    mari2120

    Answer by mari2120 at 4:47 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • FACT = He saw the tears in my eyes and rather than expressing empathy and apologizing when he realized I was hurt he started teasing me about what a girl I am and asked to see if there was a handprint

    YOU MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR HIM = like he thought I was making too much of it, maybe he was in a state of suspended disbelief or something

    ANOTHER EXCUSE YOU ARE HANDING TO HIM ON SILVER PLATTER= do you think there's a chance he just didn't know his own strength? I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • I would say GOOD-BYE and never speak to him again, this is control issues, anger issues and bulling issues, make them be someone else's not yours and esp. if you have kids.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • If this is not play that you enjoy, then you need to end this relationship now.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:44 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

  • Run like hell.too many good guys out there. Don't settle.
    lillie70

    Answer by lillie70 at 5:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2012

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