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ugghhhh!

ok so my s/o has this video game addiction. I get that with all that is going on men tend to go to their comfort zone. He got laid off and so he feels like a loser so he's gonna do whatever makes him feel like a man. We have 2 little girls and now I'm pregnant with twins. I need help I ask for help. Everytime I even bring up the fact that he needs to get off the video games he starts to get mad and starts yelling and throwing stuff. How can I make this better? How else can I go about it? Please help because this will ruin my relationship.

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babyangelromero

Asked by babyangelromero at 3:52 AM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,048 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • He's using that as an escape in my opinion. Maybe he feels like a real idiot since he lost his job and when you say something to him about the video games he gets offended so he lashes out at you. If he is throwing things then he has an anger problem as well as being unemployed. He needs to make it better, not you. He needs to get off his duff and go find a job so he can support his family. In the meantime he needs to find a way to control his anger and stop acting like a child.

    Has this throwing thing been going on for a while or did it just start recently? Has he always had anger problems even when he had a job? He needs help.

    Hope things improve.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • He is depressed I went through the same thing with my hubby. My advice? Don't make it about the video games. Play to his manhood. Every time he does something you like praise it to the skies. He is amazing for doing blank. Thank you so much. If he helps with the kids tell him what an amazing father he is. If he does chores tell him how wonderful a husband he is for doing it. Mention randomly that you know that he will get on his feet soon and that he has always been a wonderful provider. Dont critisize him (seriously men are so sensitive and they think we are bad!) Instead if you have an issue make it about you. If he gets angry and throws things leave and let him cool off. Then when you are both calm say. "I am sorry that I made you angry. What I was trying to say was That I feel that I need more help with the children." Use I statements like "I feel (fill in the blank) when you (fill in the blank)
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 8:12 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I know its hard to think that way. But he probably feels like he has failed you and the kids. Men have this belief that if they arent the breadwinners they arent the men. (thanks a lot society!) Babies bring stress anyway plus the pressure of having newbies WOW! Communication in a relationship is so important, its all how we present things. Plus people tend to become what others tell them all the time. Think about it. If someone repeatedly tells you that you are stupid, what do you feel like? STUPID! So it stands to reason if you tell him repeatedly how wonderful and how great and how you love it when he does this and that. Well eventually thats what he will become. Oh and tell him in no uncertain terms that while you love him dearly, yelling and throwing things is abusive and if he doesnt get help, you will get out.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 8:16 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • No one deserves that and even if he is a great guy, anger can consume you he needs to deal with it in a positive way. If you ever want to talk you can im me. I cant help physically but I dont mind being online support for you!
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 8:17 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Honestly if I had that situation I would treat him like a kid if that's how hes going to act. I'd take the game systems and put them away where he won't find them until he at least gave you the time a day and admitted he has a problem. Maybe record a tantrum and show him how ridiculous it looks.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 9:16 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • A friend of mines has filed for divorce because of this samething. I am going through it as well. When he doesn't have to work it's game time. Never family time. And I mean NEVER. He's in one room playing the game while I'm in another doing whatever. Its like we aren't even there. I gave up and do me. I don't have time for games like that. He wants to play a game I just find someone else to hang out with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • He might be depressed because he is not working. Talk to him about how imortant it is for him to get a job and if necessary find job adds for him and tell him where to go. If he has a resume, update it and start sending them on his behalf. Let him know how much you want to help and he should not get upset. Good Luck.
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 12:36 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

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