Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my 2 year old wakes up 2 to 3 times at night wanting to play her dad spanks her and send her back to bed but i don't like it because my mom never spanked me when i was that age but his mom did spank him when he was that age i don't want to tell him his mother was wrong for doing that. but i don't know how to put her back to sleep she only let him put her to sleep.

she cries when i try to put her to sleep. she doesnt cry when he rocks her to sleep

Answer Question
 
sleepymom122

Asked by sleepymom122 at 9:55 AM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Owch! I would be upset too! I dont know what advice to give only that I do think it is wrong to spank her and send her back to bed. Kids need security and the message he is sending to her by punishing her and sending her back to bed is that she will not have someone to turn to when she needs it. Instead of that, maybe he should get up out of bed walk with her back to her bed kiss her and tell her he loves her and he will see her in the morning. She will grow out of this. It is just a phase.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:02 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • First and foremost, you need to address the spanking issue. I personally do spank-my daughter is only 1 so she's too young. But if it is something that you are uncomfortable with that...then you need to talk to your husband.
    Lacey1012

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 10:03 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Don't say that you think that he is wrong...tell him you are uncomfortable with it especially because you don't feel she understands why she's getting spanked...and whatever other concerns you have about it. You need to have an open nonjudgemental converstation about dicipline with your child, otherwise things are not going to work. You need to be on the same page with your husband.

    Lacey1012

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 10:03 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • As far as keeping your daughter in bed, what I did was put a gate in her doorway and made sure that her room was 100% childproof. Then every time she gets out of bed you need to just go in there and put her back in bed, telling her it's time for bed. We say to my daughter (granted she's 5 now) when she goes to bed wired, "It's bed time. Not....." and she finshes it with playtime. And she knows that we are serious when we say that. But you need to just keep putting her back in bed. She will get the hint. It will take some time, but you have to be patient and consistent. Good luck.
    Lacey1012

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 10:03 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • You and your husband need to discuss the spanking issue. It's not going to work in the long run if you're not both consistent.....

    When our 2 year old wakes at night, one of us walks in quietly, tucks him back in, tell him it's night time and he needs to go to sleep, then walk out.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 10:06 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • We used to spank our son when he was 2 and 3 and then one day I just couldn't do it anymore. I was hitting the one person I loved more than anything and he was probly wondering why his mommy was hitting him too!! So I told my husband "no more spanking". I mean, if we can't get a 2 year old to do what we want without hitting then we are doing something wrong. My husband was resistant at first, (we both grew up in families that spanked). But I was firm. NO SPANKING!!! So when my son got out of bed 2 or 3 or hell sometimes it seemed like 50 times at night, we just walked him right back to it and firmly said, "it is bedtime, you have to stay in bed!". He eventually got the picture and he is 12 now and when I say it's bedtime he knows I mean it. I NEVER have to fight to get him to go to bed.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 10:12 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I don't think the spanking is helping. AT ALL. Stop the spanking. And have a LONG talk with him about how you feel.

    With that said, try to get into a bedtime routine, and maybe put a baby gate on your kid's door and a few toys in her room?

    I don't have too much of an issue with this, but that's all I could think of.
    aridattebayo

    Answer by aridattebayo at 11:00 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • why would you spank a child that is clearly coming to you for comfort you need to talk to him. I wouldn't let my husband hit my 2 year old it just doesn't sound right. just put her back to bed
    taylansmom

    Answer by taylansmom at 11:11 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Our 2 yr old comes to our bed at night as well. I would never spank him.( and I do spank) We simply just take him back. Last night I layed down with him and ended up putting him on the couch. I don't make an issue of it. Be consistent in this. I just don't think spanking is the answer here. Shes looking for comfort and security in knowing youre still there and shes getting punished. Express your feelings about that. Good luck.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:56 AM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I CANNOT support anything that has to do with spanking a child this young! We all (adults too) go through different stages of sleep every night. Imagine if someone spanked you just because you woke up and had trouble going back to sleep. Tell your husband how you feel!
    TiffaniR

    Answer by TiffaniR at 12:04 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.