Drugs

I think it is something he should have told you about before kicking her out, what he expected etc. I would tell him tough love really does NOT work in these situations and expecting another family member to take in his child for any reason is not the way the world works. He needs to bring her back into his home and set some rules. I would start with drug testing to see what other drugs she is using, NA meetings, and possibly an outpatient rehab.

Clearly this girl needs help if nobody is willing to place her in their home then maybe she will consider a drug rehab. She would then be able to get the help and counseling she needs to get through this. However, this is something she needs to want to do. I suggest sitting down and talking to her letting her know she has support and love but she needs to do what is best for her and that is to get help. If she asked to stay with you maybe she is trying to get her life back together. She turned to you for a reason, and right now she may need your support to get through this. Your brother should not be mad at you the choice of her living with you is a big responsibility. One in which only you can make that choice. Please keep the line of communication open with her and let her know she can come to you to talk about whatever may be bothering her. She may just need someone to reach out to.

That makes no sense. I think drug testing is a good idea, it could be how she pays rent.... Living with your brother not you.

I don't think you are required to take in an adult(she is 19) that has drug issues. You would be risking you and any children you have(if you do) safety. If she continued to use she would be bringing it into your house as well as the potential for other unsavory people as well.

You aren't obligated to do anything, she is a big girl and can make big girl decisions, she already made one(bad one)..doing drugs.

She won't get better by being taken in and you being forced to become jailer/parole officer and giving her drug tests..she has to want to stop..period.

I don't know why they expect it to be YOUR problem. First, he was throwing her out for doing drugs. She is 19. She is an adult. She can sink or swim. She CAN make a life of her own, on her own, like many others do. If his idea was "if you're going to do drugs, you're not doing it under my roof"...did he really think it should be "if you're doing drugs, you can do them at your aunt's house" Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? NO!

My answer would be to tell them they can both hush until one of them can explain why either one of them thinks that you should welcome a drug user into your home when her own parents are throwing her out?

good for your brother for practicing touch love. This is a sticky issue though.... If she's not a full blown addict and was just experimenting then maybe offering your home as a safe haven with strict no drug rules will help her and also show your children how families support one another in times of need. If your niece is an actual addict then bringing her into your home would be a disaster and only enabled her dependency at your families cost. I'd talk with your brother and see what his feelings are on the subject. She how best to help your niece. She might be open to rehab after she has lived hand to mouth awhile.

I'd tell your brother to take his opinion and shove it up his ass. Honestly-he doesn't want his own daugher living with him b/c she's doing drugs, but he's perfectly fine with pawning her off on you??? Puh-leeeze. Your brother created this problem, your brother can deal with it too.

She is an ADULT and if she CHOSES to do drugs then she would be out of my house. If the cops were to come in and raid your house, YOU could be held responsible for those drugs too. NO, you are not wrong for not wanting her in your house. You have your own family to worry about and don't need a drug addict living in your house, influencing your kids. TOUGH LOVE IS NEEDED. Allowing her to live in your house is enabling her habits and poor choices. She needs a doese of reality and a trip to rehab.

So he kicks her out, but expects you to take her in?
He is the parent, and he needs to deal with her, not send her to your home, so you can figure out how to deal with the situation.
Neither of them should be mad at you IMO, they are both looking for someone to blame for something, and you not taking her in, did it.
They have issues, that need to be worked through, between them, in their home...
I seriously cannot believe he has the audacity to kick her out, and expect you to take her in, without any prior arrangements being made. Sounds like he wants YOU to fix the problem, and send her back when you have done so.