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Why are my kids so mean to me??

I have a five and three year old both girls and they are just so mean if they dont get their way RIGHT AWAY or if one gets to hug me or kiss me first oor if the one gets to hand me something first... if i dont put the song on they wont the second i get in car if they cant get something they wont or if they cant play on my phone .... they are spoiled but enough is enough. whooping doesnt work, talking to them doesnt work, yelling doesnt work nor does time out. IM FED UP!


Asked by eyeloveme at 4:36 AM on Jan. 25, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 9 (302 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Your second comment shows that they have learned the "forgiveness sweetness" works with you and if they do that there will not be a punishment. You probably know by now what each one would see as the ultimate punishment. You could take away their MOST favorite thing for a certain length of time. Each child has those special things that mean the world to them. This can all be done calmly, consistently, and with conviction that you need to do the right thing. Get it all under control now before they get any older and walk all over you. GL!

    Answer by whitepeppers at 8:19 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • You need to put your foot down. Try to keep consistancy with them and never throw out empty threats. Always follow through with what you say you'll do.

    Answer by tspillane at 4:39 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • You need to say NO and stick to it!  You're going too have to put up with their tantrums until they realise that you mean it.


    Answer by beeky at 7:55 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • You just have to keep being consistent. I have 3 and 5yo dds also and my 5yo started acting like this when she went to school. Funny thing is she does not act like that at school :/ Anyhow what I found works is telling her that if we have an activity planned she will not get to participate and then not letting her if she does not behave until then. After the 2nd or 3rd time she caught on that we were serious.

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:05 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • I am a HUGE fan of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort; you should be able to find a copy at your local libraray. Learn more here:


    Answer by rkoloms at 6:07 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • One other thing; pick one method of discipline, and stick with it. Children need consistency. Keep in mind that if you teach your child that hitting solves problems, she will think that hitting solves problems

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:09 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • It also sounds like they are competing against each other for your affection and what not. As for the temper tantrum they throw, ignore them. Yes I really do know it will be just about impossible for you, but it sounds like you are at the end of your rope also. It will get worse before it gets better. Nip it in the bud now when it will be a little easier to handle instead of when they are older. You also can make them 'earn' things they want instead of giving it to them. Will be a good lesson to have when they get older and they know they will have to work to get what they want, it will not be given to them. ALWAYS follow through with the things you want them to do, or whatever punishment you give them. So if you make a threat of sending them to their rooms, or not allowing them outside to play. Not a threat of telling them they are grounded for a month, if not they will jump on it 1st chance. Keep it real.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 6:14 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • You need to step up and be the parent and stop taking their crap. They are running you and not you them. You need to sit them down and have a little chap about the "new rules" in the house. Their behavior must change or nothing will happen, no hugs, no kisses and no music. If they misbehave you will start taking away their favorites, whatever that may be.

    You rule the house not them!!!

    Answer by robinkane at 6:30 AM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • Try giving them the cold shoulder. Tend to their basic needs, and still love on them, but when they act like that ignore them NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO, OR HOW LONG IT TAKES, then after they've calmed down, make them ask for their request nicely, then u can say "now u may have such and such because you've asked nicely and respected mommy, but when u behave badly u will not get anything".

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 12:07 PM on Jan. 25, 2012

  • Delegate!
    If your DDs are constantly debating on who gets to do things first then assign different tasks related to the activity to each of your daughters.
    About the phone you are going to have to set rules. "The phone to be used only by Dad and Mom". Once the rule is set and the girls follow trough, you can restart allowing your DDs to use the phone, but in small steps, increment the time your DDs get to use your phone.

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 5:15 AM on Jan. 25, 2012