I NEED SOME ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!

i went to pick up my 10yo and was called in to the principles office. she got caught writing on the bathroom walls and refuses to give up any names. she got grounded right there in front of everyone before we left the building. we get home and she tells me that the girls double dared her to do that. i am really worried now. what's going to happen when they dare to do drugs or smoke?
i really want to beat the living crap out of her, but i know that won't help. she scrubbed the walls and they plan to make her paint the bathroom. i really want her to give up the names, she said it's girls she don't play with at recess but i'm just so disappointed in her. as soon as i told her that she started crying.
this has never happened before, did i handle this right or should i tell her other things? i just don't know.

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Asked by noel1978 at 5:13 PM on Jan. 25, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (8)

you have done what you can aside from telling her she can't play with them or associate with them it is hard when they are this age; my son has done some things this year that I never thought he'd ever do but it is because of the school district he is in now. I have told him that he cannot hang with these kids that have been in trouble every other day since school starts and he told me fine all I can do is trust him and if he breaks the trust then there will be further action taken the only other thing I can say is sit down with her and tell her that if she is honest with you the consequences with be better then if she tries to keep things from you. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer by Christmaslver68 at 3:18 PM on Feb. 24, 2012
Credits: 210411 Level 45 Tweens (9-12) Minor

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Seems like you have done all you can. I would wait a few days and then take her to lunch and talk to her about peer pressure again. Tell her what your concerns are because of this incident.

Answer by gemgem at 5:21 PM on Jan. 25, 2012
Credits: 147809 Level 42 Tweens (9-12) Minor

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Tell her do not do things people dare you to do. You will just get in trouble again.

Answer by louise2 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 25, 2012
Credits: 60063 Level 33 Tweens (9-12) 101

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You & the school handled it appropriately. If she normally doesn't do things like this, got caught, got in trouble & disappointed you, then I think she learned her lesson. It wouldn't hurt to talk to her again about peer pressure & your concerns. Keep talking, keep listening & keep hugging! These are challenging years. GL :) (Also, get her involved in extracurriculars- it will give her more self confidence so she won't care what those other girls say.)

Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:25 PM on Jan. 25, 2012
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I think that the punishment has fit the crime.

I would have a chat with her about why she thinks that this was an acceptable thing to do

Answer by rkoloms at 7:06 PM on Jan. 25, 2012
Credits: 71498 Level 35 Tweens (9-12) 101

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she did come out and tell me it was a dare. it was from the popular group.

Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 7:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2012
Credits: 13733 Level 22 Tweens (9-12) 101
What will giving up names do? It doesn't change what she did. You just need to teach her to stay away from the bad crowd and to be a leader, not a follower. Ask questions, everyday, when she comes home from school. Show an interest in what her day was like. Let her know that she can always come to you with good and bad things.

Her punishment was fair.

Answer by Christine0813 at 6:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2012
Credits: 28499 Level 26 Tweens (9-12) 101

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they have been after this group for awhile now. from what i understand theres four other restrooms that needs to be scrubbed and painted and my dd is only doing the one she marked up. they want the others to get punished also.

Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 11:14 AM on Jan. 26, 2012
Credits: 13733 Level 22 Tweens (9-12) 101