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Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • becuase they have this feeling deep down inside that they will change, and they love them no matter what they do

    Answer by Trinity32188 at 2:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • There are many reasons. Lack of self esteem, believing the abuser when they say they wont be better without them, continueing cycles of abuse they saw growing up (someone raised in an abusive home is 80% more likely to be in one or become an abuser themselves), or the false idea that they cannot financially make it without the abuser.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:36 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I believe in some cases because they have no self esteem, or they are financially dependent upon the other person, they think the other person will change, they do not want to break up their family....but most of all I believe if you like yourself, you know what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate.

    Answer by Dannee at 2:37 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • i know when i was with my ex he abused me dailey. he knew i wanted to leave and he would tell me that if i tried to leave he would kill me. well i finally did get out and lo and be hold he found me and tried to kill me my two year old and almost did kill a friend of mine. now i know not all are as crazy as that but they make you believe that they are. so i believe alot of it is fear and that fact that they take everything from you. you independence your self esteem and make you believe no one else will have you. getting away is not always as easy as people think.

    Answer by jodi205 at 2:42 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • It's a psychological response. Abused women typically have low self esteem and feel as though they can not make it on their own. The abuser in the relationship will find ways of isolating their partner from friends and family making the person feel alone and that the abuser is the only one they can rely on. It's a screwed up rationale but I've been there. My ex-husband was emotionally and at times physically abusive. It took me years to leave him. He was an asshole but he supported me and the kids and I truly believed I couldn't make it on my own and I wasn't close to my family or my friends. I have an amazing boyfriend now. I'm still not close to my family, as they can not understand the choices in life I made, but I've begun to re-build the relationships with my friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Because they make it so you can't leave. Plain and Simple.

    Answer by njmommy2boys at 3:08 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • truly the above posters are 100% right. I was abused most of my life and my abusers made me feel as though I deserved it and it was my fault. And since I continually searched out abusive relationships (because I didnt know how to reconize warning signals) it kind of solidified that belief. Now I know better but it took a very strong will on my part, outside support and heartbreaking strength and dedication towards healing for me to move on and become healthy. Not every woman has that and especially after being abused for a long time.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 3:39 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • It beats the hell out of me. I know for me the last thing I want in my life is someone who hits me or call me names.
    But if they like it then I love it. As long as these men know the women they can beat up on then have a good life.

    Answer by MrsTGray at 4:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • believe it or not, the victims are groomed to the point where they can also be unable to see that they are a victim. I worked for the police and volunteered to help victims of domestic violence, but never realized I was also a victim. One day it hit me that I was living with financial, sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, and I started planning to get out. It took over two years after that before the marraige finally ended. It only ended because of yet another affair he was having, and he was so focused on controlling her that he allowed the divorce. Two years later he still meddles in my life and upsets the balance with the kids. The time leaving and thereafter can be the most dangerous time of all.

    Answer by MsChevious at 4:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I was in a bad relationship. I never thought I would be "that" woman. You know the abusive behavior doesn't happen right away.. it starts with small things, minor things they say or imply that upset and hurt you, it builds slowly.. It's not overt or in your face. It sneaks up on you. It wasn't until I had my son and realized someday he would treat my SON this way that I "woke up".... My motherly protective instincts made me realize what I was putting up with. I was always one of those women that said, "NO way would I ever tolerate that"... you just don't know what its like until you are there. Instead of beating women down that are - help them SEE they need to get out. Be supportive. :)

    Answer by Serafyna at 6:03 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

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