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my husband and I havent.....

Ok so my husband and I havent had sex in almost 3 weeks. usually we do about 2 times a week. I have talked to him and asked him why and he kinda laughs it off. so the other day I asked him if he was cheating on me. he looked at me like "come on now"then he kissed my forhead and said "you know I would never do that to you"
so I said ok. so thatw as like a week ago and he STILL hasnt initiated it. I want to wait till he does because I am wondering why he isnt interested? Any ideas?Please help. I am starting to get worried. and its not like we dont have time because the kids go to bed and then we have hours before we go to bed...help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Maybe he has other things on his mind besides sex? Men are funny that way sometimes. They dont like to talk about things going on at work or otherwise that are bothering them and just internalize it instead. Id ask him how work is going and if anything is bothering him.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:56 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • If I were you, I would try to initiate it. If you don't get anything in return then sit him down and have a talk with him.
    MeeShee

    Answer by MeeShee at 2:57 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • he mit be cheating you never know or maybe hes going through a change in his life that he isn't so interested in doing it right now but something sexy and really set the mood this may help good luck
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 2:57 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • He might be having erectile "issues".....guys will do anything to not have that become known to others, even their wife. Rule out physical problems first. Have you seen him with an erection in the past 3 weeks? Has he masturbated?

    Is there anything about you that is different than before, that might be turning him off?
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 3:18 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Why dont you ask him, if he is not cheating then why the lack of sex you might be surprised by the answer, also does he look at porn because in that case he maybe just taking cae of himself there if ya KWIM
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • my mom always said, never say never.
    but maybe he;s waiting for YOU to initiate. lol maybe he laughed it off cause he knows its bugging you and wants you to initiate. and is waitng for you too.
    or he could be doing it himself with porno, or cheating... no one knows your hubby more than you do.
    kiliki_malie

    Answer by kiliki_malie at 3:42 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • A quiet talk sounds like a good idea. Carefully not being accusing, ask him if something is wrong that is making him not interested in sex. If he insists not, then suggest strongly that he see a doctor to rule out physical problems, since this is very unlike him. Tell him that you love him and want to make sure he is not ill. Do not bring up the cheating issue. Enfold him in love and concern. Tell him that if his physical shows he is OK, that you and he need to get couseling so that the problem can be solved. Say again that you love him and want him to be happy. See how he reacts and go from there. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:10 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Could be a physical problem of some type. Also could be that he is feeling like the only thing you want or need from him is sex. This is a very sensitive issue for men. Pay close attention to what he is talking about and he will likely tell you what the problem is-----in code. Every wife has to learn to read her husband's "code" language.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:17 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I dont think there is anything going on at work.
    And yes I have seen him with an erection so I know its not a phisical thing.
    I dont know but if he is looking at that much porn to not be intimate with me for 3 weeks then there is a problem, because we have never gone this long before except when hes deployed.
    Also being tired and all that has never been an issue, I dont really want to initiate it because if hes not initiating it then there is a reason why he doesnt want to have sex,...does this make sence?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Someone has to initiate sex. Most of them, it's not like a couple running towards each other on the beach that embrace and start doing it in the sand without saying a word......think about how many times you might not wanted to have sex but did anyways and then got into it?
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 11:02 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

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