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Am I crazy or is it my MIL?

We live about 2 to 3 blocks away from my MIL and she NEVER NEVER NEVER comes over to see the kids. Then when she sees them (usually we take them to her) she acts as if she is grandmother of the year. She could easily walk to our house and works part in good health....there is nothing stopping her.

So is it just me or is she a piece or work?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I can understand that you are concerned that she doesn't come over, but some people are like that. Choose your battles, and this isn't one of them. Just because she doesn't come over doesn't make her a bad grandma. Maybe she sees them enough when you take them over. She may be busy with her life or just plain lack energy. You could suggest that she come over more- see if you can arrange a weekly time, say every Thursday she comes to your place for supper. My Mom lives 15 minutes away but never came here to see the grandchildren. We took them there. It was fine, we were busy, she was busy. She came over only when invited, and ordinarily that was for a meal.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:04 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Just be glad she isn't there every day to tell ya how to do things and constantly looking over your shoulder. Yep be glad for the little blessings. So what if she wants to act like gma of the year at least she isn't trying to run your life. Or at least that would be your thoughts if you were on my end. Boy isn't the grass always greener on the other side?!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • As a grandmother and a mother-in-law, I wonder if she somehow senses that she is really not all that welcome at your house. Do you ever invite her over for coffee or for a meal? Do you ever ask her to come over and watch the children for a few minutes? There is a disconnect somewhere if she seems to enjoy her grandchildren and yet never comes to your house to see them. I am blessed to have good relationships with my daughters-in-law, and while we are respectful of each other's homes, we have great freedom in calling and asking if it's okay if we come over. I am wondering if you have made it perfectly clear that she is welcome to do that.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:11 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • to have another MIL perspective...

    We use to invite....and she would always have some excuse....

    The relationship has grown worse over the years. I have felt rejected and "left out" by her a lot.

    One thing that always sticks out in my mind is what happened at my baby shower. She came with my SIL and then my MIL asked the lady who threw the shower to move her gift to the front....after I opened her gift she came and whispered in my ear that they were going to go ahead and leave so they could get their shopping done at walmart.

    I was angry but more than that....I was hurt.....

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 4:20 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Oh by the way....the time she spent at my shower was about 15 to 20 minutes.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 4:22 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Nanny B is the best at giving mil advice on Cafe mom. So anon listen to her.

    Answer by jareda69 at 4:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • There are evil mils out there i have one(racist inlaws). but it sounds like she isnt evil. maybe she just prefers you going over there. makes her feel better maybe.

    Answer by momavanessa at 4:54 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I don't think it's you, she is a piece of work. I went through the same thing when my older kids were little. I would take to her about it, find out why she doesn't come over. Then I would tell her you will take turns, visit at your house one time and hers the next. This may sound blunt, but that's the way I leaves no room for misunderstanding, or your hurt feelings.

    Answer by LoriW at 5:06 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

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