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Overwhelmed and stressed don't know what to do?

I am a step mom of 2 Bub 12, jada 7 and mom to 2 Noah 3 and Nich 18m. I'm having major issues in my house. Bub is lazy, mouthy, disrespectful to everyone but his mom and dad. ( mom is a convinence mom) and constantly picks on all the kids whether vocally or violently (violence with Noah) lack of punnishment with him unless it's with jada. Jada has a princess complex has become defiant, beats up her brothers and has no consequences unless I do it. want mom to live here ( she hasn't seen her in over 2 yrs) she wants to live anywhere but here. and is starting to get mouthy and argue everything. Now Noah has picked up on all this and is acting like them and he adores them. I'm even having issues with Nich with tantrums and hitting now I fell overwhlemed dealing with their issues and I'm getting griped at because the house is dirty. Oh Help

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Chrissyrose

Asked by Chrissyrose at 4:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

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  • you need a break!! the ones that are acting out are probably doing that for the attention. they dont care what kind of attention they get as long as their getting something. try ignoring their bad behavior, and when they hit someone, say almost nothing to them and put all your attention on the child that got hit, eventually theyll learn that they arent going to get any attention from doing that. in teh meantime, you need to talk to a best friend or a family member and have them stay with you for a few days and help you out if that is at all possible. try making time for yourself, even if its at midnight, take a long bath, give yourself a pedicure, youre going to drive yourself insane, and its not fair to you! i wish i had more advice, im sorry. i wish you the best of luck
    Amanduhpanda

    Answer by Amanduhpanda at 4:43 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

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  • Let me start by saying I don't know your background so, my sugg may not apply.

    I believe in taking tv and other things away, though it will be hard to do since you are sm. see if you can have bm tell them to work w/ you. also, do some soul searching and look and see if you treat your bio children differently than your step children. What does their dad say too? Does he help you with the kids? Sometimes w/ our children I have to have their dad back me up to get results. Good luck, stay calm, and your ss may always be a slob. My bro is messy and has always been. Wish you the best.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 4:47 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

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  • thank you guys. The bm is a tough one when bubs mom comes around it's few and far between and my daughters mom has nothing to do with her. I don't get a lot of help with the kids or time to myself he leaves for work at 7 am and get's home between 7-11 pm. I do treat my bk different but not better I'm much harshe on Noah and nicholai I'm at a loss poor guy. I give him good attention though. I love on all my kids but I wasn't raised with a lot of affectiondad does back me up sometimes but there is deff. a mine yours and our thing going. I believe in spare the rod spoil the child he doesn't. there is a lot of lack of communication between us about the kids. It's kinds like he works, I take care of the kids the house and the food. he comes home and rests and I work till the kids go to bed. I think I'm tired and worn down
    Chrissyrose

    Answer by Chrissyrose at 4:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

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  • : Amanduhpanda has great input..... but your worst problem is the difference between what you believe when it comes to discipline.
    You must find a moment or 2 and make him understand that you two are all there is, and that if these kids are even going to have a chance, you have to find the happy medium you can both live with, even if you both don't agree 100 percent. the kids need to know and believe that they are all getting the same treatment, and that you will back each other up instead of them being able to turn one of you against the other...

    It took my hubb and I years to figure out that no matter what, It's US against the world, and it has made ALL the difference!!!
    stillfatmama

    Answer by stillfatmama at 7:12 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

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