Update: Son out of control and new question regarding being bullied/picked on

I finally got my son to break down and tell me what happened. He said he didn't really mean it but he was mad because the kid is mean to him everyday. I asked him to define mean. He said daily the kid hits him in the back of the head and that he makes fun of him. I asked him what he said but he says he tries to tune him out and stop listening after he was mean the one time.

So I go on facebook and find the kids page. OMG his facebook is covered in profranity that most grown men don't say, he has violent stuff on his page and says nasty things to kids.

I reinforced with my son what he did was wrong and that now he is the one labeled as having problems. He is having a miserable day right now and we took away alot of his stuff. My question is if this is true that kid has been picking on him how can we get it to stop ? Normally I would tell him to tell the teacher but he has this one black mark against him. At school this is the only problem he has ever given them.

He is still getting punished but not sure how to help him with the problem he is experiencing with this kid.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Jan. 27, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

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I would set up a meeting at the school to discuss this matter. Bullying is a hot issue right now and most schools are willing to discuss it. What your son did was still wrong and there should be consequences for it, but you need to bring the bullying to the attention of the school.

Answer by hootie826 at 12:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 29914 Level 27

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Id lift the punishment, print out the page and take it to the school. I would let them know you lifted his punishment now that you know he in fact is the victim of a bully. Give them the FB page print outs and tell them you expect something to be done right away. If they refuse then keep an eye on the page and call the police if you see the kid bullying or making threats to other kids, and of course to your son. Let your son know you are on his side, and he needs to be open with you so you can help him. That way he can tell if what happens at school. You have the right to call the police on any child who hits your son with or without the schools knowledge or acceptance.

Answer by gemgem at 12:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 147809 Level 42 Teens (13-17) Minor

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You need to talk to the teacher & the principal as to what exactly precipitated the incident so they can be on the lookout!! If he was provoked b/c the other boy laid hands on him that needs to be addressed!!

Answer by Crafty26 at 12:53 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 74219 Level 35 Teens (13-17) 101

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I am with gemgem

Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:02 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 36605 Level 28 Teens (13-17) 101

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Here are some links that should help

http://www.nobully.org/

http://kidshealth.org/

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

Answer by Rosehawk at 1:22 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 52186 Level 32 Teens (13-17) 101

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I would lift the punishment but explain to him that self defense is one thing but it is never okay to threaten someone else's life. No child should be a punching bag but there are ways to ensure your child is in the right. Never throw the first punch, always have witnesses and keep a record of each and every occurrence as evidence to get the police involved.

Answer by MamaStuart at 1:59 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 8177 Level 19 Teens (13-17) Minor

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I think your first step is talking to the principal/headmaster. Get a copy of the bullying policy, each school should have one. If you feel it has escalated over time call the police and report it. I would do everything I could to stop the bullying as fast as I could.

Answer by meooma at 2:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2012
Credits: 224888 Level 46 Teens (13-17) Minor

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My 7th grade son is an easy target for bullying and I have gone to the school several time for help (as have several other parents in our small district) with no assistance being given!!! Thusly, I have chosen to disenroll my child from the public school and use an online charter school for the remainder of his middle school years. Hopefully he will be able to start 9th grade with a clean slate with new administrators. Here's to hopeing LOL
Oh and BTW::Police and probation have been involved and told the school that my son is the one being bullied but it didn't matter!!!

Answer by mom2priceboys at 8:27 PM on Feb. 10, 2012
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