Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do 12-Week Old BABIES Have Tantrums???

My boyfriend says that our 12 week old baby is throwing a tantrum when he crying for no apparent reason and even says he wants to spank him. I STRONGLY disagree, and tell him that there is something wrong, or he's just tired. Not a tantrum. And he certainly does not need to be spanked. He says I am "Spoiling" our baby by trying to comfort him. Any way to convince him how wrong that is? Or am I wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (29)
  • NO NO NO NO!!!!

    IT is NOT OK to EVER spank a 12 WEEK old......that would be abuse.....they cry b/c they have NO way of telling you what they need or want....

    Tell your b/f if he touches that baby you will call the cops.....thats insane!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • he is wrong u dont spank a child that cant comp. why they are getting spanked that is stupid

    Answer by Wyattsmom205 at 8:01 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • uh... NO! A twelve week old child does not have the cognitive ability to manipulate anyone (which is what tantrums are about) You never ever lay hands on a baby. You dont even YELL at a baby. Most likely there is a deeper issue at hand with your infant (gas pain teethign etc) and your boyfriend should feel liek a deuche bag for even suggesting he is crying to make you mad. SHAME on him!

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 8:02 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • No- 12 weeks olds do not have tantrums, they have needs! And even if you choose to spank an older child, there is absolutely no reason to spank a 12 week old baby! An infant would have no clue why they are being hurt... all they will understand is that someone who they trust to care for them is hurting them. It is not spoiling an infant to meet their needs. And if your SO disagrees, he may have some issues of his own to look into. Please don't entrust your baby in his care- it really sounds like he needs some help with anger management for the sake of the baby's safety!

    Answer by Freela at 8:05 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • SO has issues and needs parenting classes, NOW. Go to the hospital and sign BOTH of you guys up!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • when my dd was 3 months old she cried screamed and no matter what me and her dad did nothing worked we changed her fed her eveything i called her doc a few times in the end he told me she was having a bad day. i said shes having a bad day what about me. i talked to her doc and seeing how we did everything she was fine no fever no gas just a bad day and i did say how can a 3 month old have a bad day. all he said is she can. by the night she was back to her normal self like nothing. but from 7am till about 830 was hell for me and her dad. its tough to say, i agree though no spanking a lil baby, they dont know what is going on and cant tell you, just call her doc and see what he/she says. maybe its her formula or breastmilk. good luck hun its hard but gets better..

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • If he is crying for "no apparent reason" he may well be bored.
    No, it is not okay to spank a 12 week old.
    It's not until about 6 months that babies learn to "manipulate" you.. And don't take manipulate wrong- it's a developmental milestone you WANT your baby to reach. There is nothing malicious in it, and it doesn't mean that their needs are any less..
    At 12 weeks this is not learned yet. He may cry when nothing is TRULY wrong, but it is still an attempt to get a need met.. Needing to be held IS a need! Needing to be walked around IS a need.
    I'd be very worried about a man who doesn't want you to respond to the needs of your child, and is even considering "spanking".. Really, what will your baby learn from being spanked? Does he seriously think it will make your baby be quiet and start smiling at you?

    Answer by Liyoness at 8:48 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • And you CANNOT spoil a baby!!!!!!!!!
    It is absolutely, positively, without a doubt IMPOSSIBLE to love a baby too much!!!!!

    Answer by Liyoness at 8:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I cannot even fathom what your SO was thinking in wanting to spank a 12 week old!!! WTF!!! I guess it never occurred to him that his child may be in pain from having gas, or an upset tummy, or it could even be colic. If your baby is acting the same way around the same time in the evening every day then I would say it is due to colic.

    You need to make it VERY VERY Clear to your SO that under no circumstances is it EVER right to spank a 12 week old. They dont understand ANYTHING right now, much less how to throw a temper tantrum......... he needs some help, and I dont know if I would ever leave my child along with him after threatening something so stupid.

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 8:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • No they don't throw tantrums... at least not the kind an older child has. I think they can sometimes get overtired have something like a "tantrum" where they are kind of unconsolable. But if they are crying it's is for a reason, hungry, upset stomach or gas, tired...
    I agree with one of the other posters, I would sign for parenting classes.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 8:50 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.