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Trying to make the baby mama drama a better situation

Recently my boyfriend and I got into a arguement about how much the mother of his kids calls him. She calls at all hours of the night and morning. At least 2 times a day. I understand that they need to talk about their kids, but sometimes she would call just tol "talk". It really started to get under my skin and I kind blew up. That night I stayed at my place because I needed my space. She ended up seeing my car at my house and knew we were fighting about her. Today, to help easy the tension I text her " I know the situation is hard 4 me and assume it is hard for you too. I dont want ne hard feelings between us. I will always be good to your girls n hope we can be friends eventually." I have not heard back from her. Did I make the wrong choice? Should I tell my botfriend (her ex husband)?

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Asked by StrongButInLove at 8:17 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • I would leave her alone, you put it out there and now it is up to her to grow up.As for boyfriend yes tell him ,show him the exact text so no one can say something was said that wasn't.I am a "baby mama" and I would have been very touched if my ex's fiancee had ever tried with me.Instead she has been very nasty to me and my son, which is sad cuz he is a great kid,.If you ever want to talk about this, email me. I love when the new person inmy son's life knows that I cannot go away, I am his mom.But it is hard to figure out boundaries.Maybe we can help each other...

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:20 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I think that was big of you. It may also have sent a msg to her that you're not going anywhere but that her calling all the time is causing problems (not sure how you know she saw your car and knew you were fighting about her). I don't know what I'd do from either angle really but I do think you were a big person for making the effort to form a relationship with her and I hope she thinks about it and realizes that it's best for everyone to get along.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:28 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • it would of been worse if you said something bad to her while you were in anger. When people dont text back, they either dont know what to say or dont care for you in general.

    i think its wrong for you guy to just "talk" to her for no reason, if there is a reason like he could have feelings for her still, its going to hurt you.

    im glad you blew up at him, maybe he didnt know he was doing something wrong. if he doesnt respect your decision to not talk to her for anything other then her kids, then i would let him go, its not worth all the hurt if the ex and your guy is doing all this and your the third wheel.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I have been on both sides of this story. My husband's ex is so obsessed with him she doesn't care less about the kids or how good I am to them, and on the opposite side of the story my ex-husband's girlfriend is good to my kids so she's fine with me. neither me or my husband talk to our ex's unless needed for the kids. My daughter's are old enough that they call and receive calls from their dad themselves.what you did was a nice gesture, if my kid's soon to be step mom sent me a text i would at least be polite and respond, however it's like that one poster replied you probly aren't much to her and seriously besides being good to the kids why should you be. i think american sugan is right and my feelings are that u r the third wheel and this is only the beginning, do want to continue with the drama forever? i know if i could go back i would rethink it.sorry to be so honest. i hope it works however you want it to.good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • The only business they should have together is over the kids. If they want to be friends then you need to consider if it is something that you want to be around for. I know that if my DH had been anything more to do with his ex than the bare minimum for the kid I wouldn't have even bothered with a relationship with him because I know that I wouldn't deal well with that sort of thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • Thank you all for your response and honest answers. I really appreciate everyone's input. The thing that is hard is that when she calls, it starts out to be about the kids. At times I even think she makes things up about them just to call. From there the conversation sometimes stays. The reason I know she knows about our fight is because she called my BF and asked why I was parked on the street inf front of my house. my BF told her that her constant calling is causing us to fight. I was upset at first (because I dont think its her business) but I know he was trying to help.

    Answer by StrongButInLove at 12:24 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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