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Where do I go from here. I need some suggestions.

I run an in home child care program and I am having trouble with one of the children I care for. He is a handful, but usually I can redirect him into behaving. Today this child (he is 8) locked me out of my home, and I am having a hard time trying to decide what to do. I really feel like I do not want to continue to watch him, but I really like his mother. I do not want to hurt her feelings, but I need to be firm and give her a time line on when she needs to find another child care provider. Please give some suggestions on how to handle this delicate situation. Thanks in advance!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 AM on Jul. 18, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Maybe sit her down like a conference and say all friendship aside but this is what happend tell her how he locked you out of your home and that he is being disruptive and rude and if she can't do anything with him then your afraid that you will no other choice than to no longer watch him, and give her a two week trial. It most likely is a harder situation for you but you can only do so much.

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 4:03 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • As soon as I was able to get back inside, I did call her and let her know what was going on, and how stressed this is all making me. She doesnt understand how he can behave so aweful here, and not be so bad at home. (He is an only child, and when he is here, he is part of a group.) She is placing blame on the other kids that come here for her son's bad behavior. She feels that I am not giving enough structure for him. I try and give him tasks, (read a book, do a craft, etc) to keep him busy, and half the time he doesnt listen anyway. Have I mentioned that I am so frustrated with him?

    Answer by taracv at 4:18 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Then hun simply tell her she has 2 weeks to find him another daycare center, I am sorry but the lady spoils him and lets him get away with everything if she didn't he wouldn't be acting like that in your home! I don't blame you I wouldn't have the patience either he sounds like a little brat!

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 4:34 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • I had this problem when I did daycare a few years ago. I had an 8 year who I had watched since he was 10 months old. I was close to his parents too. It started with biting, and being rough, and then the language became a problem. I talked to the parents extensivly, about his behavior. Then came the day he choked one of the other kids. That was the end. The mother was not happy about being told her son was a problem, and I would no longer watch him. She called DCFS, made up lies, and I eventually ended my daycare.
    Definetly give her a timeline. Be careful how you word it. Don't attack her or her child. ( I was so pissed, I did) I would gently tell her it was time to find another sitter, that I no longer had the resources to watch her son, and maybe its best for everyone if she find someone new. Blame it on you, if that works!( the old "its not you its me" Tell her her son doesn't seem happy in your care, and you want him to be happy, so find someone else.

    Answer by barrettboys at 8:52 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • When I used to watch kids (I still do, but only for my closest friend, and since she doesn't pay me, I consider it more like a favor then a job) I would tell all parents that if at any time I do not feel like it is a good fit they would have x amount of time to find somewhere else. If you are completely unhappy, and he is obviously unhappy then something needs to be done. It is not necessarily you or him, it is a situation that is not working out, so find one that does. I agree with the above, blame it on yourself, we parents tend to be defensive when it comes to our kids.

    Answer by Jazak at 11:48 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • As a mother of an only child - I agree witht the other moms! She is spoiling him, refusing to believe that her "angel" can behave so differently for her. Many moms (no matter how many children) have this problem.
    Simply tell her that you don't seem to be able to provide him with the structure and one-on-one time he needs and that she has 2 weeks (or a month) to find a new care setting for him.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:50 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • I agree with the other posters to a certain extent, however, I would suggest that you give her two timelines. I would let her know that she has a month. If she can get her son to act appropriately within a two week time frame, then you can discuss continuing where you are at, otherwise, she will have two weeks from that time to find a new daycare. That way, she can choose to either use the full month to look for daycare (as a single mom, I know it is really hard while working to look for a good daycare) or she can try to talk to her son, who at age 8 should be able to be reasoned with somewhat, to make things work. That gives her some say in what is going on. If she truly feels that her son has nothing to do with it, then she can just use the whole time to look for someone new. If she wants to make it work, then she can take some effort and talk to her son. Then you can give her some daily updates and see how it goes. Maybe with more day to day communication, it will get better.

    Answer by Inial at 3:17 PM on Jul. 18, 2008