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how do i deal with it all?

so my ex and i are working things out. last month we went to court for child support. the payments are starting next week and hes all Im not gonna be able to take our daughter next week cause i have no money. he tells me if he goes down and eventualy has no place to live its all my fault. I feel like shit. How do i fix this. he tells me that he is not gonna be able to bye food and pay his bills. I just want to know how to deal with it all and not hurt what we have goten back. It is kinda hard cause we live in diffrent states.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My ex complained once about having to pay 25% of his income to child support..... I just wrote him a congratulations note that simply said...... congratulations.... you're not paying 100% anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Honey if he can't pay his bills that is NOT your fault you didn't make that baby by yourself! And if he is blaming you for all his problems maybe you should rethink working things out with him.....
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:25 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • My ex pulled the same crap during the divorce process.... and the moment I began to show ANY give.... he rubbed my nose in it... don't fall for this crap. If he really wants to make it work, then he'll meet his obligations AND continue to work on the relationship. All he's handing you is a bag of guilt and he must be pretty convincing... cuz you're buying it at full price. Stop.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 11:35 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I keep hearing that same sob story from my x , how I'm making his new baby starve and how he can't make the house payments on his house. They feed us that bs to get sympathy out of us so we'll drop child support NO. Don't do it. It's his responsibility to his child. It's not just money to you it's money FOR his child. You have to pay to support her so why shouldn't he? Mine thought he was being clever feeding me his story but I knew he paid cash (thousands) for a motorcycle so I wasn't falling for it. They will say anything to not have to pay out that money. If he wasn't paying you then he'd just be using it for something else like dating other women or drinking or buying video games or golf clubs or whatever he likes. Stick to the plan for your child's sake.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:03 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Tell him to get off his pitty pot and get a second job! or 3rd if he needs one! You didn't make that baby by yourself, he shouldn't have gone to bed with you if he couldn't pay for what he was making. He sure as hell was there for the fun part, so he sure as hell needs to be there through the hard parts as well! Don't listen to what he has to say, if he is rubbing that in your face trying to make you feel bad then he isn't worth getting back together with either... You deserve better then that.
    KateInTheSurf

    Answer by KateInTheSurf at 12:13 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • none of you ever think that maybe it was the EX-WIFE's fault for the divorce. My husband now must pay 50% of his income to an ex that cheated on him then asked for a divorce. PLus she got pregnant while he thought she was on birth control now she is milking us and we cannot pay our rent. We also have a baby on the way and I am working plus trying to figure out where the money for everything is coming from. He pulls his hair out because he wants to pay for his son but the money is outrageous!! I was a single mom for years, never got a dime from my ex (still don't) and she cries to him that she is "burdened" by raising their son and he should pay more!! WTF?

    I say NO WAY. She had him and her marriage but SHE ruined it and divorced him. I say "lie in your own bed, bitch". She fucked up. That should not be his problem and it defintiely should not be MINE yet somehow I am paying for it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • There is no reason your husband has to be paying 50% of his income in CS ... the largest amount I am aware of in any state is 25% ... what state are you in? Cause he really needs to see a lawyer to get his case re-examined...

    As for the OP, he's probably just trying to give you guilt. Do with him what I did with my hubby's ex. Go through your states child support services for the payments. Do not allow him to send the money directly to you under any circumstances. And if he tries to "talk" you you about how he's paying too much, tell him to speak to your Child Support Services representative and that you really don't feel comfortable discussing this issue with him at all...
    AnnieMcD

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 3:58 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • the only reason y i think he could be paying 50% is he is also paying alimony too. not just the child support.

    mamaoneil

    Answer by mamaoneil at 6:25 AM on Jan. 26, 2009