Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to do with my 21m old hitter?

My 21 month old hits. Not everyone or playmates just me. Anyone can get him mad and he will purposily seak me out, tell me no, and hit me. When I tell him no back he gets worse and more violent with his hits. When I grab his hands he goes bizerk and whails on me. I dont know how to stop hit, punish it, or calm him down with out giving in. He's like at that age where I cant really sit him in time out or send him to his room. I can barely grab his hands and hold him so he doesnt hit me with out fearing Im being to rough. But at the same time I'm not trying to get hit by my kid all the time. I really dont want to just let it go now so it gets worst in the future. So I usually tell him no a few times, get mad myself and either leave the room (leaving him with dad) or sit and ignore him while he usually screams and cries till I give in and the only thing that will calm him down his breastfeeding which Im trying to wean. HELP ME

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (3)
  • You're right he is too young for time outs or really any sort of punishment. In order for a punishment such as a time-out to be effective your child must be able to make the association between the unacceptable behavior and the consequence(21 months is usually too young for this)
    The best way to correct his behavior is to just demonstrate good behavior. Our little girl used to hit and we just remained calm and patient. Then we would take our hands and gently rub the top of her head(or wherever she hit us)and repeat nice, nice over and over. This worked really well for us:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jan. 15, 2009

  • I had this problem with my oldest. He would either hit, or throw things at me. Like the pp said, I would try to remain as calm as possible. With him, I would move him away from me when he did it, and tell him no, you do not hit mommy. Sometimes he would throw a little fit, sometimes not. And usually I would have to move him a few times. When he was calm, I would touch his hands and tell him 'nice' or 'gentle'. It was very very frustrating at times, and there were times I would have to walk away. But he got past it! It seemed to take forever, and there were days I pictured having a teenager trying to slap me! But it wasn't too long before he stopped. You'll get through it, just be calm and patient with him. Good luck!

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 1:55 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • my 20 mo hits my hubby and i when he's over excited or just me when he's really mad. i do put him in a time out for 3min i his pack n play. when i put him in, i explain that "it's not nice to hit. we do hugs and kisses only. no hitting etc." it's finally starting to work after a month or so. you can see the wheels turning when he's about to hit and he'll go in for a hug instead. and dont raise your voice when you say 'no' to him. just calmly say something like 'no we dont hit.' i find the 'angry no' back to ds doesnt work..he laughs. we're still trying to solve the problem of hitting the cat...but we've been having him gently pet her saying 'nice touching.' it is frustrating. maybe he's mad at youfor trying to wean?? i had to cold turkey wean my son at 14 months after he'd been drinking pediasure/milk for about 2 weeks. dont give in to it. good luck!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.