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3year old and not sure......

I am 25 years old and I have a three year old Boy and I would like to have more children but not sure if it is a good idea because I have no time for my self now and would like to start going to school and getting a job.I dont just want to be a stay at home mom.My boyfriend wants more children but me.....not sure.I love my son to death and dont mind at all being with him just not sure how a baby would do.Wouls it be easier when my son gets older to have another one or now?Thank you.

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Saphier2

Asked by Saphier2 at 11:22 PM on Jan. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • That's kind of a hard question. My boys are 22 mos apart. It was hard sometimes having a baby and a toddler and there were days I wished I had them farther apart. BUT, in 3 yrs, they'll both be in school. So I'll have more time for myself then and not have a huge gap in between one going and the next. If I had waited longer, one would be in school and I would still have a baby at home, so it would be like starting over. Don't know if that helps you or not! If he wants more children, is he willing to spend more time at home with them so you can do the things you want to do?
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 1:43 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I found it much easier to have them close together. My oldest son was 11 months old when I got pregnant with my other son. They did everything together. They played together, slept about the same times (once my youngest one was about 8 months old at least), potty trained at the same time because little brother wanted to copy big brother, my oldest son taught his brother to ride a bike without training wheels when he was 3. They've grown up sharing a room, sharing toys, sharing clothes (both are the same size!). When my youngest son was 5, I got pregnant with my daughter. The boys are now too busy with their own things most of the time to really play with her all that much (don't get me wrong they still do, and they love their little sister), but I have to spend alot more time keeping her occupied than I did with the boys because they could play with each other.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:44 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • If you are going to get married, I recommend you consider couples counseling to discuss issues like having more children and how it will affect your current family dynamics. If you don't want to risk being a single mom to two young kids, then maybe you shouldn't have another child now simply because your boyfriend wants to or you think it might be "easier" for your son. Additionally, if your personal needs are not being met now with only one child and a boyfriend, then your stress will likely increase if you have another child at this time. Take time to find out what YOU really want, discuss it with your boyfriend to see if your idea of your future can blend with his, and then go from there...
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • My kids are 21 mos apart and it was hard at the begining, but once the second one was able to crawl, then walk, things got so much easier. They both like the same toys now and same shows. THey are 3 and 18 mos now, a girl and boy respectively. It will take more time, back to the sleepless nights, etc, but having two is so great. They are each others playmate, and they love each other so much- it is wonderful to see. Also, I personally think it helps from children being spoiled too much- they have to learn to share at an early age. Good Luck with whatever you decide. If you do not feel ready yet- they you probably are not!
    cmlowery

    Answer by cmlowery at 2:24 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Mine are 23 months apart and from the time my youngest was about 15 months old they began playing really well together. They can play with the same toys, eat the same foods, enjoy the same activities, videos, books, etc. But I really wanted to have another at that time. You have to be comfortable and confident in your decision to have another baby. If you're not then wait a while and do what feels right.
    laura_lu5

    Answer by laura_lu5 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Having 2 is actually easier than 1 because they entertain each other.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:41 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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